Anything Could Happen
by theelusivewindrose
Summary: After being ditched by her friends Penny decides to have "Anything Can Happen Thursday" with Sheldon. While evaluating her life anything can - and does - happen. A big ol' shenny fic. WARNING: s7 spoilers. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Anything Could Happen

**I own nothing! I am blatantly plagiarizing this chapter from S7E21 of TBBT and I apologize to the humor gods. I am merely borrowing the characters to fulfill my fangirl fantasies.  
Since most of this is straight out of the episode, that means major spoilers! You have been warned.**

"This is how 'anything can happen Thursday' turns into 'It won't stop coming up Friday.'" Complained Sheldon as they made their way through the downtown Pasadena shops.

"How about that Asian fusion place?" Leonard suggested alternatively.

"Fusion and Asian? I'm trying not to think about science!"

Penny smiled at the not so subtly stereotypical comment Sheldon had just made when her eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar face. It couldn't be, Penny's head whipped back towards the small restaurant's window, but her eyes weren't deceiving her.

"What the hell?!" Penny exclaimed as the full reality of her two best girlfriends clinking wine glasses without her hit home. "Bernadette isn't working late!"

Sheldon and Leonard followed her gaze.

"And Amy doesn't look sick," Sheldon observed.

"Why would they lie to us?" Penny could hear the slightest bit of hurt in her own voice.

"That's a good question!" Sheldon began his traditional round of three knocks on the window, drawing the startled glances of restaurant patrons. Knock-knock-knock "Amy and Bernadette," knock-knock-knock, "Amy and Bernadette," knock-knock-knock, by this time all eyes were on the tall lanky man rapping on the window "Amy and Bernadette – Why did you lie to us?"

Penny felt her cheeks warm slightly as she pushed into the restaurant aware that people were tittering at the antics of her friend. If only they knew how lightly they had gotten off with the amount of crazy Sheldon was capable of. As she approached her would-be girlfriends, however, she felt a small turn in her gut once more.

"You're not working late," She directed at Bernadette. "Why did you lie to me?"

"And you told me you were sick, but you look just as pale and sick as always," Sheldon told Amy, much less tactful than others as usual.

Amy looked away covering any tinge of hurt with the downward tilt of her face, "I'm sorry, I'm just sick of hearing you obsess about what to do after string theory."

"We kind of just wanted one night where we didn't have to hear how miserable you are making this movie," added Bernadette to Penny.

"But none of that means we don't love you," Amy quickly added.

Penny thought back to the last few days. The movie was definitely the only thing interesting that had happened for weeks. She didn't have anything else to talk about really, but she'd hoped they would have been happy for her not annoyed.

"I haven't been complaining that much have I?" She asked Leonard, sure that he would be proud of her. Enough so that he would deem any complaining as something he could find tolerable.

He hesitated, searching as Penny felt her own annoyance rising.

"I also love you," he finished lamely.

"Well you know what, maybe I need a break from all of you," she asserted determined to salvage one night out of the shitty week she'd been having, she looked to the doorway her eyes falling on Sheldon. Incredibly, he was in the same boat she was. As they made eye contact in that split second she made her decision.

"C'mon, Sheldon," She said stepping towards him.

"Where are we going," he asked curiously.

"We're going to have anything can happen Thursday and you're gonna tell me all about your science stuff and I'm gonna complain about my movie and we're gonna support each other because that's what friends do."

"Okay."

Thrilled he had cooperated, she lead the way out of the restaurant her stomach and chest still tight with emotion, but glad that at least her dramatic exit had gone as planned. She heard Sheldon speak behind her.

"Cause if I had to pick now I'd probably go with dark matter-"

"Shut up," she snapped her irritation flaring.

Didn't he understand they were making a statement? A scene? As an actress that was what she was supposed to be good at. Apparently, she wasn't good at anything else. Not finding a decent role that didn't border on pornography. Or having anything interesting to bring to the table. She finally had something, _anything,_ to talk about for the first time in months and it still wasn't up to par with her friends' standards. Even when she finally felt like she was getting somewhere she was going nowhere.

As she lead the way blindly passed familiar shops and boutiques fuming she felt her anger fading and with every silent second she realized she was literally going nowhere. Sheldon was still following and she remembered she wasn't the only one who had been physically and emotionally ditched. She stopped at the corner and turned to face Sheldon. He caught himself just before bumping into her, putting out his arms in front to steady himself, but narrowly avoiding actually touching her.

Penny let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and looked up at Sheldon.

"So, what do you wanna do?" She asked letting her arms fall to her sides.

"I don't know…" Sheldon replied analyzing his options. "My pizza option still seems the most tempting."

"You mean the most safe," Penny countered.

"Not necessarily, the pizza delivery men in this city are absolutely riddled with countless unknown pathogens from handling money," Sheldon said his eyes getting that light in them that Penny associated with the light on her laptop that blinked when it did stuff. "Plus, what if our delivery person turned out to be a criminal and robbed us at gunpo-"

"Stop, okay I get it, death is everywhere," she said cutting him off before he could make up a CSI episode plot in his head. "Let's just get Asian fusion."

"Alright, but just so you know, the probability of our delivery boy being a robber-murder is significantly lower than the probability that we are going to get food poisoning tonight."

Penny rolled her eyes as she waited for the little man to indicate it was safe for them to cross the street. "I'll risk it," she crossed her arms over her chest trying to abate the angry hurt feeling inside of her.

* * *

Sheldon let out a groan as he stared at the food on his plate. Penny was actually quite happy with the options she'd been given, but Dr. whack-a-doodle was clearly struggling with his.

"What's wrong?" She asked watching him poke at things.

"I don't understand my food," he complained. "There are Chinese noodles, Korean barbeque and … a taco."

Penny smiled softly at how distressed he was over his food, then said "Its fusion."

"My mother would lock her car doors if she had to drive through this hodge podge of ethnicity."

Penny laughed out loud surprised at the clever joke about his Texan mother. She realized he probably meant it as a statement and not a joke, but it eased some of the tension she had been carrying since they'd left their group. Enough so that she finally was able to ask the question swirling around in her head.

"Do you think I've been complaining too much about the movie?" Penny asked. She knew she was risking more humiliation at the hands of the tactless physicist, but she needed to know.

"Not at all," he said straightaway.

She looked up from the noodles she'd been pushing around and was surprised to find his thoughtful gaze upon her. "Thank you," she said feeling her stomach unknot considerably. A lot more than she'd expected in fact. She thought she noticed a small smile forming at the corner of his lips, but it was gone before she could be sure.

"… but to be fair most of what you say sounds like whah whah whah clothes whah whah."

She scowled at his Charlie-Brownesque impression of her and straightened. If she didn't know any better she'd think he was teasing her. But Sheldon Cooper doesn't tease. He calculates. So what was that shift between comforting bff to condescending asshat?

Penny shook her head, now she was overanalyzing too much. "Hey," she said changing gears, "I'm just curious why you're not upset with Amy."

"I am. So much that I'm gonna bring her here for date night," he said pushing his Korean barbeque further from his taco.

Penny laughed, there it was again. That humorous side that she wasn't sure was intentional. Penny took a drink of water as the thought of the 'dates' he was referring to crossed her mind. She knew all about their new kissing arrangement because of Amy. It turns out that there might be something human in the robotic makeup of her physicist friend. Her gaze wandered to his lips as she considered what it would actually be like to kiss Sheldon Cooper. It would probably be really awkward because he was so much taller than Penny that she'd probably have to stand on tip toe. And he was always so damn hygienic his mouth would taste like mint toothpaste. She wondered, would he be precise and technical? Moving his lips carefully against hers as she held herself against him? Or would his need for control cause him to hold her firmly to him as he moved his lips against hers expertly and confidently.

"You are enjoying your meal?"

Penny spilled water down her front as she jumped, surprised at where her thoughts had lead her. She felt the flush in her cheeks and a slight chill on her flesh. Dear God, did she just turn herself on thinking about kissing Sheldon? She looked up at the smiling man waiting for her response.

"Yes, thank you, and more water please? Thanks." She told the waiter being careful to enunciate.

As the waiter left, she stole a glance at Sheldon who was occupied with slowly chewing the egg roll on his plate. He clearly had no idea where her thoughts had lead and a good thing too. She gulped the water down chastising herself. It's not as though she were deprived, after all she had Leonard.

Yes, Leonard. Who was loving and supportive and who she really didn't deserve. Who always looked out for her even if he did confess she complained too much. But he cared a lot about her that's why he was always pushing her to do better.

_Because you're not good enough._

The thought creeped in like it always did small at first, but more and more convincing as she thought of the way he made fun of her. The way he talked down to her. But this was Leonard, sweet, socially inept and overly attached. Or at least that's what she kept telling herself. When they had gotten back together there was a considerable change in their relationship. Where before it seemed as though he had been chasing her, lately it seemed as though _she_ were chasing _him_. Not just chasing, but desperately seeking out his approval. Getting down on one sloppy drunken knee had shown her just how much things had shifted and when he rejected her she knew she really was desperate. If there was a playing field it was far from being even…

"There is something seriously lacking here."

Sheldon's voice startled her causing Penny to meet his gaze trying to decipher his meaning. Of course he was referring to the taco that was now missing a bite from it.

"I understand what they were trying to go for with the melting pot of ethnic flavors, but you'd think they'd be better at calculating the pairings," he remarked setting the remaining taco down and wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Penny sighed, of all the people to be at dinner with during a moment of inner turmoil. She watched him as he decided to try another option from his plate, thinking back to when they first met. Naturally, she had been impressed by him and the sheer mental prowess he had. It was like meeting a beefy guy at the gym, Penny just had to appreciate the effort that brought about that kind of result. But Leonard had been there, never allowing there to be any doubt as to which of them she could choose. Besides, Sheldon was very clearly uninterested.

No, actually, there was one moment she recalled surprisingly easily where he seemed interested. A memory sparked in Penny's mind of her looking up at the tall Texan as he leaned proudly against the white board containing his work. She had complimented him and he flirted back quite easily. Flirted! It was so long ago that it was probably not worth looking into, but curiosity began to bubble up inside her.

"Hey, Sheldon," she said barely believing she was actually going to go there. _Why not?,_ she told herself, _what's the worst that could happen?_


	2. Chapter 2: The Inquiry Manifestation

**You are all wonderful people! Thanks for the great reviews. As a thank you, I'm posting this earlier than intended.**

**Again, I own nothing (except the DVDs of course :P). More spoilers from s7ep21 so be wary. It gets a tad bit Shenny ahead. **

"Hey, Sheldon," Penny said, breaking the monotony of the restaurant sounds around them. "When you first met me, what did you think of me?"

Sheldon's fork paused halfway to his mouth as he looked at her across the table. A second passed between them as an image of Penny, younger and more naïve than the woman who sat across from him filled his mind.

"Well –"he put his fork down, thinking. "In regards to what exactly?"

"I dunno, just tell me what you're first impression of me was."

His eidetic memory pulled up the events of that day. She was a bleach blonde like many of LA's female residents, but with a friendlier demeanor that hadn't been completely changed by jadedness. Her overall perkiness was a plus, but the ditziness was a considerable annoyance.

"I thought you were a considerable improvement over the last neighbor, though not nearly as impeccable with your household duties," Sheldon said finally bringing the noodles to his mouth. He figured using the same description he'd given Leonard would appease whatever need she had to learn his initial opinion of her.

"That's it?" Penny asked, her tone indicating she expected more. There was another lull while she took a drink of wine then she pried further, "What does 'improvement' mean?"

Sheldon realized he had made that comment based on her attractiveness. Something he wasn't keen on letting her know. He didn't make it a habit to notice the physical attractiveness of women, but base instincts were unavoidable. He took a moment to chew and stalled for response time.

"What is it you want to know exactly?" he asked considering possible answers.

Penny put her hands in her lap and looked down at them, "I don't know, I was just thinking about how much things have changed. I mean, would you have ever imagined that we'd be sitting at dinner because we preferred each other's company over everyone else's?"

That was an interesting way of looking at their current situation. When she told him to follow her out of the restaurant he'd merely complied because he saw no reason to object. The fact that Amy had lied to him and was avoiding him wasn't a surprise. A lot of people avoided him and he was quite used to that, but he found himself contemplating Penny's assessment and realized she was right. This did seem like the most pleasing outcome possible. Despite the food of course.

"Well, I suppose I wouldn't have imagined us sitting here in particular, seeing as how this place is subpar at best," Sheldon replied. "Initially, I found you vacuous, but over time you've proved that back country charm of yours can actually be appealing."

Penny glared at him and scowled at his description of her, but it was masking an obvious smile. He found himself smiling back at her as the waiter came by again setting down Penny's wine.

"All done? Can I get you two any boxes?" He asked.

"That won't be necessary," Sheldon said handing his plate to the man. "I would rather not have to experience what this food is like after being microwaved."

He stared back at Sheldon trying to decipher his meaning.

"He means 'no, thank you,'" Penny said, saving the man the trouble of translating an insult. "Can we have the check please?"

As he watched the waiter walk away, he considered the way she effortlessly fit in with him. If he was honest with her, his initial opinion of her had been that she was shallow and uninteresting, but when she had noticed his work, he was flattered. Girls like Penny did not normally even speak to Sheldon, let alone notice him as someone to be respected. He had softened to her then, noticing her soft smile, the kind eyes and something calming in her presence…

Then Leonard had made it quite clear what his intentions were. Sheldon did not have the energy or desire to compete for a girl he had just met so he'd put it completely out of his mind. But over the years her curiosity and innate ability to be patient, relatively of course, was endearing. Now, as she sat across from him smiling softly at some thought in her head he felt an unfamiliar pang of jealousy. It was also undesired, so he buried it quickly.

"Why are you suddenly interested in what transpired years ago?" Sheldon asked wanting to get to the real issue at hand.

Penny's green eyes met his and she sighed, the small smile disappearing as a frown replaced it. "I was just thinking about how terrible this week has been and how even though I hate every minute on set, it's supposed to be the next step for me. It's supposed to be a _victory,_" she said indicating her present situation was anything but. "And I remember how when I first met you guys I thought I had it all figured out, but it's taken me _years_ to get here."

"How do you think I feel?" he replied, surprised to hear similar doubts to his own from her lips. "I am a successful, brilliant and accomplished scientist –"

"Not to toot your own horn or anything," Penny muttered.

"-and now I have no idea what my next field of study is going to be," he continued, ignoring her jab. "What if I start studying dark matter and I have to change universities? I'll have to start all over again and that's going to be as tedious as a symposium on – on –"he searched.

"On dark matter?" Penny offered teasingly.

"Yes!" Sheldon affirmed leaning forward passionately. "What if it is tedious? What if I'm so bored I have to backtrack? After all it was Leonard's first choice and lord knows how dull his work is." Penny was grinning at him and he had no idea why. "What?"

"When you get excited about something your eyes light up like the little light on my laptop," she said.

Sheldon frowned at her description, unaware that she even noticed things about her laptop let alone his eyes. He sat back in his chair, "that doesn't help me at all… and if it's a solid light not a blinking light, then that means your hard drive is working too hard. As is my mind."

"Well, Moonpie," she said putting her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her hands, ignoring his obvious reply to being called that. "I don't think my advice is very helpful because no matter what you do you're going to be amazing at it."

It was a full moment before Sheldon realized she had paid him a compliment. The room seemed to get a little bit brighter, but before he could respond the waiter was back bowing as he placed the credit card tray that carried their bill and fortune cookies.

"Maybe the answer to your career problem is in one of these," Penny offered picking up a fortune cookie and passing it to him.

"There's only one cookie that has the answer to life's problems and that's an Oreo," Sheldon countered. "Or a Nutter Butter if you're in a pinch."

"C'mon open it, I bet it says something great," she pressed.

"This is Asian fusion. For all you know there's a tiny chihuahua in there."

"Fine, I'll go!" she said ripping her cookie open. As she began reading he decided not to tell her it was traditional to eat the cookie first. "_'People look to you for guidance and wisdom_," oh! That's a good one," she said excitedly.

"No it's not."

"What? How is that not good?" she asked.

"'_Look to you for wisdom?_' Clearly that cookie is mocking you. You'd never hear that kind of sass from a Nutter Butter."

"Alright since you're paying for dinner I'll let that one slide," she said annoyed. "Open yours."

Even though he knew he was pushing his luck, he couldn't resist poking the metaphorical dragon once more. "Have you ever paid for a meal?"

"Not with money, read."

Sheldon took in her words and looked up from his fortune cookie, not shocked, but caught off guard by her statement. Provoked undoubtedly by his earlier thoughts, he imagined the actions she was implying. He had to look away from her and focus on opening the cookie, because all his thoughts were replaced by those green eyes looking up at him from while lying beneath him on a mattress. He swallowed, hard, and read his slip of paper aloud.

"'_Your warm and fun loving nature delights those around you.'_"

"Nope, try again."

**Wow,**_** I**_** don't even know what's gonna happen next. New chapter soon! Thanks for the follows and reviews. I love my enablers. 3**


	3. Chapter 3: The Fortuitous Paradox

**You are all so patient and wonderful. I'll have a busy week, so this is to hold you off til I get into the juicy stuff. I'm finishing up S7ep21 in this chapter and the rest will be original content (sort of).  
I own nothing, you own nothing, let's party.**

Amy watched as Leonard checked his phone for the umpteenth time. Her own thoughts were on Sheldon and his utter lack of response to her lying to him. Upon seeing him, she was certain he would be mad, but true to form he showed little reaction before following Penny out.

"I feel so bad for lying to Sheldon," she confessed to Bernadette. "How am I gonna make it up to him?"

"Yea, I'd tell you what I do," Bernadette offered. "But I don't think dressing up like a catholic schoolgirl is gonna help with Sheldon."

Amy stared at the other woman and imagined indeed showing up in a catholic schoolgirl outfit at Sheldon's door. He'd probably assume she was proposing some sort perfectly tame cosplay.

"He'd probably give you homework," Leonard added.

With no desire to talk about her lack of bedroom activity, Amy moved the conversation to Bernadette. "Did you lie to Howard about tonight?"

"Of course!" Bernadette answered quickly.

"And you don't feel bad about it?" Amy asked.

"Between Penny's gorilla movie and Howard's gorilla mother, I didn't have a choice," the blonde said sounding truly unapologetic.

"Thankfully," Leonard chimed in. "Penny and I have a relationship built on trust."

Bernadette scoffed.

"What? I don't lie to her," Leonard contested.

"Yea, we know _you_ don't lie to _her,_" Bernadette said then took another drink.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leonard asked, suspicious.

Amy took a drink from her own glass. Though Penny didn't lie about anything major, she did confide a lot about the troubles with their relationship. She claimed to be happy most of the time, but she often complained about Leonard's teasing and dismissal of her goals. Penny had also confessed what motivated her proposal and how the rejection really hit hard. In fact, it was because of that rejection that she had taken this crappy job. It really sounded like she needed something good in her life, and that something wasn't Leonard.

Amy met Leonard's gaze as it switched from Bernadette to her awaiting an answer. She couldn't rightly say, 'she lies to you every day and just doesn't realize it'. It wasn't her place, but she knew her friend was hurting. Instead, she went with what she hoped was a less painful answer.

"She hated the last Star Trek movie," Amy told him.

"Awww, but she said it was okay! Better than the first one even," he whined.

Amy felt bad for lying to the guy, but it was really none of her business. She met Bernadette's eyes across the table, sharing their secret.

They sat chatting for a little while as Leonard continued to check his phone every five minutes. Amy noticed he was also texting, but she was sure if it was Penny he would have said something. She pulled her own phone out. Nothing. Just the nebula she had set as a background shining back at her. She had removed the picture of Sheldon about a week ago. More guilt flooded her.

Their new arrangement had been nice at first, their kisses a welcome addition. It soon began to feel forced, however. Not on his part, but hers. While she had waited so long for something physical, when it finally came she found it lacking. There was no spark, no fireworks, just an awkwardness she couldn't shake. She couldn't figure it out, how could she be so attracted one minute and then. . .

But she knew the real answer. It had started with her awkward coworker paying attention to her. Then she found she was having more and more fun with her friends than with Sheldon on their dates. She had fun when they were with the group and she enjoyed his company, but she found herself wanting to avoid date night and go out with the others instead. As she took another sip of her wine she heard the thought that had been keeping her up at night. _I'm just not attracted to him._

That wasn't all though, she knew who she _was_ attracted to. . .

Bernadette's phone rang and she excused herself. It was just her and Leonard.

"You and I never hang out like this," he said. "Why is that?"

"I know its weird right?" she replied.

"Yea, we should do it more often."

"No, I mean this is weird right now," she clarified. There was an awkward pause and then thankfully his phone went off. She couldn't imagine being alone with just Leonard either. He was definitely not her type either.

* * *

Penny led the way down the street feeling considerably better than she had earlier. Maybe she'd convince Sheldon to follow her to a bar she was fond of on this street. Just as the thought of Sheldon in a bar crossed her mind, something much better rose up before her.

Psychic Palm and Tarot Readings, said a bright neon sign.

"Ohhh," she said gleefully. "I think I see our next stop!"

Sheldon caught sight of the same sign and stopped in his tracks. "You can't be serious. If I wanted to waste my time with nonsense I'd follow Leonard on Instagram."

"Nope, c'mon tonight we are trying new things," Penny said, not willing to pass up an opportunity to both take Sheldon out of his element and be falsely assured all her dreams were going to come true. She opened the door and led the way into the dimly lit shop.

Sheldon followed behind her. "Ugh," he groaned. "That is a lot of incense. Or someone set a hippie on fire."

Penny laughed at his comment as she approached the front desk. An older woman sat behind the counter, her dark skin and heavy shawls giving her the appropriate look of a voodoo priestess. Yup. This was going to be great.

* * *

"It's Penny," Leonard told Amy as she had assumed he would. Interesting that he had been glued to his phone all night, but Penny wasn't on the other end.

"Is she still mad?" Amy asked hoping her friend wasn't upset. Sheldon she could deal with, but she felt really guilty about ditching Penny.

"No, apparently she got Sheldon to go to a psychic."

"A psychic? He considers them not just mumbo jumbo, but extra jumbo mumbo jumbo."

"Well, Penny can be very persuasive," he told Amy. "She's gotten me to do plenty of things I wouldn't normally do."

Amy didn't doubt it, "Yea, because she has sex with you."

"Yea, she does," he said proudly.

_Unpleasant sex, I might add_, Amy thought bitterly. She quickly reprimanded herself though. That was no way to think about a friend. She thought of her own sex life, or rather, lack thereof and pondered her boyfriend's willingness to follow Penny's wishes.

"Can I confess something?" she told Leonard who put his phone down to listen. "Once in a while, I get a little jealous of how close they are. She really seems to have a connection with him."

"Well, Penny grew up around horses so she knows how to approach him without making him skittish."

"Don't get me wrong," she amended, ignoring his comment about Sheldon. "I know they're just friends, I just wish he'd be that comfortable around me already," _And I that comfortable around him_, she thought to herself.

"It took him a long time to get comfortable around me too," Leonard acknowledged.

"Really, what did you do?"

"Something terrible in a past life, I don't know," he finished an annoyed tone in his voice.

Amy was going to remark, but Bernadette came back in and grabbed her coat angrily, "I gotta go, Penny ratted me out, by the way," she turned to Leonard. "She's getting you a watch with money she stole out of your wallet." Smacking him on the shoulder, she made her way out.

* * *

"Not to be rude or discourteous," Sheldon told the woman. "But before we begin, I'd just like to say there's no scientific evidence to support clairvoyance of any kind. Which means, no insult intended, but you're a fraud, your profession is a swindle and your livelihood is dependent on the gullibility of stupid people. . . Again, no offense."

Sheldon was very annoyed at having to spend money on something that he neither believed in nor supported, but Penny had insisted he needed this to solve his 'ju ju' problem. His upbringing wouldn't have allowed him to, and given the nights events it would have gone over badly, but he was sorely tempted to walk away and leave her the shop.

"Sheldon, just ask your question," Penny pressed, looking far too entertained.

"Okay," he responded and sat silently willing both women across from him to see exactly what he thought. "I just did, what was it?"

"Oh for God's sake," Penny said exasperated. "He's a physicist and he's trying to decide what his next field of study should be."

"For your information, I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie." In fact, he had let his mind wander back to his earlier thoughts. Penny now had a dinner and a psychic reading on her tab.

"I can answer that one," Penny retorted thankfully very unaware. "I'll be bored."

Before Sheldon could come up with a retort, the psychic interrupted their bickering.

"Why don't we begin," She took a deep breath and put on a show of 'channeling.' Sheldon rolled his eyes."You're spirit guide is telling me there's a woman in your life you're having problems with."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "That's an easy guess, I'm clearly an annoying person. I have problems with both genders."

"Yes, you clearly are," agreed the woman. "But, I'm seeing a specific woman that you're in a romantic relationship with."

Penny got excited, "Oh, Oh, here we goooo."

Sheldon was unamused.

"Does she have dark hair?" the woman asked.

"Yes! Yes, your spirit guides are on fire!" Penny answered for him bouncing in her seat. He would have laughed, but he didn't want to encourage her. He focused instead on countering the guesses with the logic behind them.

"The majority of people have dark hair," Sheldon said. "Even you at one point," he said to Penny.

"Does she work in a similar field as you?" asked the psychic, talking over him.

"Ha, no! The opposite, she's a neurobiologist and I'm a theoretical physicist. My spirit guides can go suck an egg."

"They're telling me you have difficulty being close with her," the psychic said and Sheldon didn't have a clever retort for that one. He did have trouble being close, but that was easy to derive from his demeanor.

"Oh he does, he so does. What should he do?" Penny asked for him, cheerful and unaware that he was waiting for the psychic's reply.

"He should let go of this relationship, once he does, all his other pursuits will come into focus," the woman said her eyes slowly opening and meeting his across the table.

"WHAT?" Penny and Sheldon in unison.

The woman smiled at them both serenely. "Everything will come into place once you commit to your true feelings. You will find everything you're looking for in a much different place than you expected."

Sheldon didn't break eye contact with the woman, even though he felt Penny's eyes on him. It was true that he couldn't imagine being with Amy forever, but he did care about her and didn't want to end things. She was a great friend and had a great mind. What did this woman mean his true feelings? He was quite honest with Amy about how he felt.

Following the pattern of his earlier reflection, a flashback of Penny pinning him down and playfully kissing him entered his mind. Then another of her sitting on his bed singing Soft Kitty to him. He looked up at the woman annoyed at the emotions her words had brought to the surface.

As if she could tell exactly what he was thinking, the woman smiled and said, "There is more than one way to satisfy a hunger."

Sheldon felt his stomach fall into the pit of his stomach. He did not like that sentence. Not one bit.

"You know what this is," he said hoping the small lilt in is his voice was inaudible to everyone else. "…and I usually reserve this word. _This_ is malarkey."

With that he got up and stormed from the room. He heard Penny behind him as he struggled to find the way through the beaded curtain maze they had come through.

"Wow, you really struck a nerve... I've never heard him use the M word before."

**I hope you like the way I changed the episode. I promise good things are in store. R&R and I will keep the chapters coming. More soonish 3**


	4. Chapter 4:The Oxytocin Increase Variable

**The moment has arrived, apart from the characters this one is all mine. It's longer too! Yay!**

** Sheldon may seem a little OOC, but that's to be expected.**

**In case anyone cares, the song that inspired this chapter was Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum (cheese anyone?)**

**I don't own anything that is, was, or will ever be the big bang theory. (Unless someone with power feels like adding some of my stuff to a couple of episodes, eh? Eh?)**

Penny followed Sheldon down the streets of Pasadena with difficulty. The dinner wine had made her feel like crawling into bed, so power walking home was the last thing that she wanted to do. She kept up as best she could though, dying to know what about the psychic's reading had made him storm off like he did.

"So do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No," he replied tersely.

"Aw, c'mon, the lady was a fraud, just like you said remember? Why are you so worked up about what she said?"

If Penny was honest, she was pretty thrown off by what the psychic had said herself. Of course she knew the woman had no real future telling skills, but she had been considerably spot on. Then the last sentence had made her feel like the woman was right inside her head.

_There is more than one way to satisfy a hunger. _

It was clearly intended to sound mysterious, and it had come off as really cheesy, but it had reminded Penny of her comment at dinner. She had only said it to try and get a reaction from Sheldon, but he had remained as indifferent as ever.

She supposed it was the part about breaking things off with Amy. She knew they didn't have a very intimate relationship, but they were obviously trying. At least Amy was trying, although in the past couple of weeks it seemed that they had been skipping date night to hang out with the group. And Amy had been spending more time with her and Bernadette than Sheldon…

Up ahead Sheldon entered the store on the corner. They were less than a block from home now and Penny recognized the place immediately.

"Holy crap on a cracker," she said under her breath entering the small store that smelled like cardboard and broken dreams. It was the closest liquor store in the neighborhood.

A plump woman behind the corner muttered a greeting to Sheldon as she looked up from her magazine briefly then caught sight of Penny.

"Hi, Penny! In for the usual? I have one last bottle of that peach Stella Rosa you like, check the back aisle."

"Uh, hi Brenda," Penny stammered as Sheldon looked back at her raising a brow quizzically. "I'll take a look thanks."

"I don't know why you have so much trouble landing parts, Penny," Sheldon quipped, walking down the aforementioned aisle. "You're famous at every liquor store in a ten mile radius."

"Ha ha," she retorted. "I just happen to know Brenda."

"Oh really," he asked knowingly. "Know her from where?"

"From..." she searched for a place but came up blank under his patronizing stare. She sighed in defeat, "from the liquor store."

He smiled, way too satisfied with himself and looked at the bottles lined up on the shelf with big black security caps on them. Sheldon reached for one at random and began to walk away.

"Whoa, what the hell are you doing?" Penny demanded.

"What? I am a grown man and if I want to partake of spirits as you do so freely, _and often_ might I add, then I can. Tonight is 'anything can happen' Thursday and anything includes me wanting to solve my problems with alcohol."

"Okay, while I know I should be saying," Penny used her best southern damsel voice, "'No, Sheldon, please there must be another solution,' I am totally open to whatever you have planned. Now, what I will say," she took the bottle from Sheldon's hand. "Is that we are not teenagers and we _do not_ drink liquor that comes in plastic bottles."

She glanced at the shelf for a second before selecting a new bottle with dark liquid and a black label.

"Here," she said holding the bottle up for Sheldon label out, modeling it as though it were a trophy. "Good liquor comes in a glass bottle and has a fancy black embossed label."

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Please, _moonshine_ comes in a glass bottle and I'm sure any backwoods hick can slap a black sticker on it."

Penny bit her bottom lip and raised her eyes to the ceiling, letting out a slow breath. "Yeaaah," she said putting the bottle back and grabbing the one next to it, "we're gonna need the big bottle."

* * *

By the time they got back to the building and began trudging upstairs Penny had had several inner battles with herself. She was feeling really wild and really foolish, but she was with Dr. doesn't-do-anything-that-doesn't-involve-carful-planning, so she was in good hands. But! They had reinstated anything can happen Thursday and now she may or may not be responsible for getting them both plastered.

Then, there was the fact that they were facing serious inner dilemmas and probably should talk it out since they were good friends, so that was good. But! They had invited black-label Johnnie Walker along, the king of bad decisions.

However, Sheldon would probably open up while inebriated, which could be very therapeutic for him and Penny really wanted to vent too. But! There was that lingering thought in her head, the one that ran through at dinner. The one that made her feel like if she started to vent everything would spill out and wouldn't stop.

Before she had come to any sort of decision she realized Sheldon had passed their floor and was still going.

"Hey, Sheldon, where are we going?"

"To the roof."

"The roof? Sheldon, nothing good happens on the roof when Johnnie Walker is involved."

"You shouldn't draw conclusions before you gather data, Penny it's a basic rule of science. Or in laymen's terms, don't knock it till you try it."

"Oh, I've tried it, that's how I know it's a bad idea."

Sheldon led the way and opened the door to the roof. When the warm California air touched her skin she felt a little of her anxiety slip away. It was definitely much different that climbing on a roof in Nebraska. She followed Sheldon over to a spot just on the other side of the roof where there was a low wall surrounding the ventilation unit. It was clear enough tonight that they had a view to LA in the distance.

He sat down on the wall and pulled the bottle of whiskey and two 20oz coke bottles out of the bag. Penny parked herself next to him and grabbed one of the sodas.

"So how often do you come up here?" she asked taking a sip.

"Often enough to know you should have brought a thicker sweater."

"Between the California heat and the whiskey I'll more likely be taking things off than putting them on."

She turned to see his response, not knowing exactly why she kept saying things like that and was surprised to see he was half-way through a swig of whiskey. He held it in his mouth before swallowing it looking thoroughly disgusted and Penny laughed at his reaction before taking the bottle and handing him her coke. He took a drink before seeming to realize that it was the same bottle she had already taken a drink from. His display was almost identical and Penny laughed harder.

"Okay, if you're going to get anywhere with this plan of yours I'm gonna have to teach you how to take shots with dignity."

"I can say with utmost certainty that there is nothing dignified about taking shots."

"Hey, this was _your_ idea, remember? I'm just here as peer support. Now, the first thing you have to learn is to _breathe_. Breathe in with the shot and blow out when you're done. Watch."

Penny let out a breath to begin with, then brought the bottle to her lips taking in some of the warm liquid, swallowed and then exhaled. She followed up with another sip of coke to ease the burn.

"Now you try," she said handing the bottle back.

Sheldon eyed it warily. "This is worse than Asian Fusion."

"Again, this was your idea," Penny reminded him.

She watched as he let out a breath and followed her instructions, just with more comedic expressions. When it came time for the chaser he didn't even hesitate. It was progress on two fronts.

"Wow," she said, impressed. "You're a fast learner."

Sheldon gave her an annoyed look. "Really? I finished college in less time than it takes most people to complete a thought and this, _this_, is what makes you call me a fast learner?"

"Shut up and pass the whiskey."

She took another shot and put the cap back on the bottle.

"Woo!" Penny felt the buzz almost immediately. It had been awhile since she had done this and she decided, alcoholism aside, this was exactly what she needed. Sitting cross legged and leaning back she decided to pry again, hoping now Sheldon was ready to talk.

"So, why did you freak out on the psychic?"

"I didn't 'freak out', I merely enlightened her to what I thought of her practice," he said avoiding her gaze.

"Yes you did, but that's not what I'm talking about. I had to chase you home and you are taking shots out of a 50 dollar bottle of black label scotch on the roof with _me_ of all people."

Penny could practically see the gears in his brain trying to formulate a good excuse, but it never came. Instead he took back the bottle of whiskey, threw back another shot and chased it awkwardly, but with more finesse that the last two times. Then he took of his jacket and set it down across from her and sat cross legged on it like she was. She sat up to match his posture waiting for him to speak.

"Penny," he started and she thought maybe the whiskey had kicked in after all. "Do you want to see Jupiter?"

"What?" she said, utterly confused.

Sheldon laid down on top of his jacket and looked up pulling out his phone. Muttering to herself about insane people she took of her sweater and followed suit. Once she was lying next to him he held up his phone, using some kind of constellation app to search for something.

"Look," he said excitedly when he finally found what he was looking for. "Right there." He showed her the location on the screen and pointed at the sky. She tried to see what he was talking about, but couldn't find it.

"Where? All I see is stars… and an airplane… – oh!"

"Do you see it?"

"Oh, no, sorry I just remembered I don't work tomorrow."

Sheldon turned to glare at her and she met his gaze slowly, feeling bad for getting distracted. He moved to get up but she pulled him back down.

"No! I'm sorry, here, show me again," Penny said laying down and trying to pay attention.

Sheldon put up his phone once more and pinpointed it again. "There, the bright star, it's actually Jupiter in the constellation Gemini."

Penny followed his finger and finally found it, "Oh! I see it! … wow. That's incredible."

"Yea, it's very rare that we're able to see it at all given that we live in a city with far too much light pollution."

"That is so sad," she breathed. As she looked up and took in the full scale of the sky, much emptier than the sky in Nebraska. The combination of the night's events and her intoxication made her feel very small. She could feel her throat tighten and tried to combat the feeling when Sheldon spoke.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"No," replied Penny in a small voice. "Do you?"

There was a pause and she expected him to remain silence, then finally he spoke.

"I'm not a very good boyfriend," Sheldon said, his words surprising Penny out of her own emotions.

"Aw, sweetie, you're just inexperienced. I'm sure that if you gave it time…" Penny wasn't sure how to finish that thought so she let her words fall.

Sheldon sat up and put his back against the low wall.

"Amy has been becoming more and more distant and though I should feel alarmed and upset, I don't. I only fear that I may lose her as a companion and friend."

Penny sat up turning to face him and wrapping her arms around her knees. She thought about the way they interacted and tried to imagine being in Amy's shoes. She thought about where they could be if _he _had been assertive instead of Leonard. They had already slipped into a routine, one that was different from any of the ones he had with other people. He no longer pulled away if she touched him and he allowed her to do things he didn't let anyone else do. He even joked with her now and hadn't they just shared an intimate moment?

A thought occurred to her, but she swept it away. There was absolutely no way in hell that it could be true. Instead she switched to her own dilemma, a simple one in comparison to his much larger predicament.

"I suck at being an actress, and at just about everything else," she confided after a moment.

"Considering you have tried only a miniscule amount of professions in the vast scheme of things, it is improbable that you, as you put it, 'suck at everything'. Plus, even though you're gorilla movie is a truly horrible endeavor, that doesn't mean you're horrible at making gorilla movies."

Penny laughed and found that Sheldon was laughing along with her. A genuine laugh, one she hadn't heard before.

* * *

Sheldon felt the tension leaving his shoulders as he watched Penny laugh at his statement. He rationalized that if he could have fun with someone as unlike himself as Penny, then it shouldn't be difficult to make Amy feel the same. However, as he imagined bringing Amy up here he knew it would be very different.

For one, Amy had seen Jupiter countless times in much better conditions and therefore would be very unimpressed. Furthermore, there was no banter between himself and Amy that didn't involve academia, and though he thoroughly loved academia it wasn't the same.

As Sheldon felt himself pondering the differences in the way he spent time with Amy and the way he spent time with Penny he felt the solution begin to show itself. Something he hadn't acknowledged crept to the forefront and he tried to abate it, but it was being forced to the surface by his inebriation. He watched her as she looked at her knees still smiling. He felt his pulse rise almost imperceptivity and a small knot made its way into his gut. He swallowed hard, trying to blame the Asian fusion, but his brain wasn't agreeing with that theory.

Penny chose this moment to look up and he noticed he had been staring, reaching for the bottle for an excuse to look away he unscrewed the cap and took a swig. It wasn't going to help, but the burn in his throat was a welcome distraction. He chased it then let out his breath harshly.

"Whoa, easy there tiger," Penny said reaching over for the bottle and taking a shot of her own. She made a face and then looked at the bottle as she blew out. "Wow! How big of a shot have you been taking? I think this is a good stopping point."

Penny stood and swayed a bit and Sheldon got up quickly to help steady her, but gravity didn't seem as manageable as a wave of dizziness hit him as well and he fell back against the vent taking Penny with him. She fell, palms against his chest and laughed, "Maybe we should have paced ourselves, I forgot how easily this stuff sneaks up on you..."

She looked up and the laughter fell away as her eyes – a most interesting shade of green he never really took the time to appreciate – seem to focus on his lips, then his brain imparted a strange desire to lean down and—

Penny's lips were crushed against his own and though he could swear he never moved the sensation was very real. He put his hands on her hips, for balance he assured himself, and leaned forward into the kiss. Penny's arms snaked around his neck and he convinced himself it was because she was losing purchase again. The fact that this gave a much better angle to the kiss was irrelevant, but then her tongue grazed his and a foreign emotion wound its way through him and took hold. He was deepening the kiss and she was winding her hand into his hair.

Somewhere in the distance a car horn blared and everything snapped back into focus.

They both burst apart simultaneously and though Penny stumbled a bit he didn't move to help her this time, he simply moved to the other side of the vent and put his arm out to steady himself. Something was definitely very off and he promised to never drink again as he remembered something his father had said long ago. _A drunk man's actions are a sober man's thoughts._

He had definitely imbibed too much if ancient words from his father were beginning to make sense. _No! Not make sense_, he corrected. _This makes absolutely no sense._

He had to apologize for kissing her. It was not only unwarranted, but very wrong for both parties involved. Even if he couldn't recall acting on his primal instincts and even if she had responded pleasantly.

Sheldon turned to give his apology, "Penny, I'm –"

The roof exit closed with a definitive click and both the blond and the bottle of whiskey were gone.

**More soon guys! Please R&R, I might not get to update until after finals, but don't give up on me!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Oxytocin Increase -Part 2

**Hello wonderful companions! I am proud to announce finals are over and I am a proud college graduate. YAY!**

**Regarding the timeline: Though I may include some aspects of season 7, I will obviously be setting this in an AU. Ughhh not happy with the season 7 ending AT ALL. **

**NOW – on to the important stuff! I am on the edge of my seat just like you all, but I decided to do a quick update to tide you all (and myself) over. I will post the rest when we reach 100 Follows! ( 94 right now)**

"Shit, shit, shit!"

Penny had made her way quickly down the stairs to her apartment and was struggling to get her keys into the door. She finally got the door open and pushed her way in and leaned her body against it locking it with one hand behind her back. Sliding to the floor as her heart pounded, she stared at her couch which was only slightly out of focus.

_I just kissed Sheldon Cooper._

_I just kissed Sheldon Lee Cooper_

_I just kissed Doctor Sheldon Lee Cooper!_

Making a distressed noise in her throat she ran to her bedroom and threw herself on the bed and screamed into her pillow. When she was spent, out of breath and slightly shaky she rolled over to lay on her back. Her ceiling was the same ceiling she had stared at countless times while thinking about the various decisions she had made in her life. The blanket she clutched in her finger tips was the same blanket she had used to wipe away countless tears, but everything felt foreign and far away like she was sitting in someone else's life. All she could think about was eyes the size of Texas and raising herself up to eliminate the distance between Sheldon's lips and hers.

Turning her head she caught sight of the clock. It was 12:01am. "Anything Can Happen Thursday" had become "Fuck My Life Friday"

She jumped as her phone buzzed beneath her where it had been forgotten. She scrambled for it, her pulse racing expecting a text from Sheldon saying 'what the frack' or something equally weird and demanding. Instead it was a text from Amy.

_Hope you're not mad, Bestie. Wine tomorrow night? My treat._

Penny's felt herself go cold. She felt like the worst piece of scum on the entire planet. A curse left her lips as she propped herself up against her head board. How had this happened? Where in the world between gorilla movies, string theory and Johnnie Walker had her mind decided kissing Sheldon was a good idea? Thinking of the moment again caused a completely different kind of chill. One she hadn't felt in a long time.

She was suddenly overwhelmed with the memory of the feel of his lips and the smell of his soap and the feel of his hands – Penny jumped from her bed and went in search of the abandoned bottle of Johnnie Walker. Half way into the living room she found it and wrapped her hand around the cap. She had it unscrewed in seconds and let the burn erase any of those memories from her history.

Three very soft rhythmic taps had her staring at the door as though the devil himself were on the other side. Then three more, confirming that it was indeed hell on the other side of that door. Before he could finish she opened the door.

Sheldon's hand was poised above the door and they stared at each other, both wild eyed and pale and both silent. For a split second neither could move, then Sheldon's eyes darted to where his hand was still hovering.

Penny closed her eyes and let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. He was still a whackadoodle.

"Go ahead," Penny said.

Sheldon finished the three faint taps and then met her gaze once more. The last thing she wanted was to explain her actions to her neighbor. How on earth could she explain something she didn't have the answer to?

"Penny, I came to return your sweater-" he held it out to her and she took it. His hand grazed hers and she pulled away quickly as though burned. They shared another startled stare before Sheldon hastily took a step back. "I apologize for my actions tonight and hope you do not judge me too harshly. Good night."

"Good night…" Penny replied, but her brain could not comprehend what the retreating physicist had just said. As the door to 4A quietly shut she closed her own door and wandered back to her own bedroom lying down once more.

"What the fuck just happened?"


	6. Chapter 6:The Nine Circles of Hell Model

**As promised! Thank you for all the reviews and favorites! Here is the next chapter. I'm making sure to cover all my bases as far as what the others are going through. There isn't much Shenny in this chapter, but there will be a lot coming up. Just hammering out the details**

**Enjoy!**

**I own nothing, just borrowing. (I'm also adding a few characters of my own ;P)**

Amy sat at her work computer the next day writing up her weekly reports and logging her findings. It was tedious and if she could teach her monkey Ricky to do it she would, but even _he_ seemed uninterested.

As she absently typed she allowed her thoughts to float to her friends. Penny had never called or texted her back and she was very worried that she was still hurt by her and Bernadette's rendezvous. Hopefully if she stopped by later they could have a glass of wine together and have a long chat. There was a lot on her mind and she hoped she could count on Penny to be there. She knew Penny wasn't one to hold a grudge anyway, for instance look at all the chances she'd given Leonard.

A knock on her door startled her and she turned around. A taller man with olive skin and spectacles stood in the doorway. She felt her pulse increase slightly and tried to suppress a smile, but failed miserably.

"Hello Dr. Kumal," she said standing from her station and crossing the room.

Dr. Joshua Kumal was hired recently to replace one of the retirees in Neuroinformatics and his office was a few floors below Amy's. That didn't prevent him from coming up to find her every day at lunch time.

"Hello, Amy," he said matching her smile. "Are you ready for a meal break?" His accent was simply marvelous and she loved the nuances in his speech.

"Yes, just about," she looked back at her computer station, trying to suppress her inner dialogue about the golden shade of his eyes and the way he held his portfolio in one long fingered hand. It was nearly impossible. "I can complete my logs later, for now I'm famished. Let me just grab my things."

"Excellent," his eyes lit up and he beamed for a second before clearing his throat and composing himself. Amy turned away to grab her purse so that he didn't see her huge smile.

"Uhm, we could try the café across the street… I know you mentioned you might like to try it."

"Okay," she affirmed leading him out of the office.

While in the elevator his hand grazed hers and she felt another flutter. She quickly held her purse strap while casting him a sidelong glance.

Every day for the last week they had fallen into this pattern. They had met at the advisory meeting when he was hired so that they could discuss ongoing research and create a program for her and her team. That first Friday they had lunch together. Then every other Friday. Then every day this week. At first it was just a friendly occurrence until she began to think about him outside of work hours.

There was something lacking in her current relationship paradigm that was being fulfilled by Dr. Kumal. This thought made her feel both guilty and sad because she knew what she had to do and she wasn't looking forward to it at all. Her current state of happiness during lunch had shown her that though she and Sheldon were very compatible, there was not a 'spark'. She had to annul their relationship agreement . . . she had already completed the paperwork. She felt her throat tighten with emotion.

"Is something wrong, Amy?" Joshua asked.

"Huh – oh, no, I just realized my work load this afternoon is going to be more extensive than I originally thought."

"Well hopefully lunch can take your mind off of that," he said smiling. It was infectious and she smiled back.

* * *

Three white boards stood between the desk and office door creating a wall of figures, data and equations that kept the outside world at bay. Sheldon stood leaning against his desk, holding a half empty water bottle and staring at the boards but not really seeing them.

There was a list in his mind of problems he had to deal with.

One. He had a migraine that was resurfacing past the pain killers he'd taken earlier.

Two. There was an email from the board saying he could not change fields of study on his computer.

Three. Though he had attempted ever known tactic he possessed to repress negative things his senses were being assaulted by images of blonde tresses, green eyes and the smell of femininity.

Four. Someone was knocking on the door.

Sheldon watched as Leonard entered trying to push between two of the white boards. He didn't move to help, just avoided meeting his roommate's eyes.

Five. He was experiencing guilt.

"Hey, I didn't see you at lunch," Leonard said once he was free.

"I am not feeling well at the moment," he answered trying to remain stoic.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about something important."

"Now isn't a good time, Leonard."

Leonard looked at the boards and back to Sheldon, "I'm sorry, but this can't wait. Sheldon, I am here to give you advanced notice of my termination of our roommate agreement under Emergency Termination Clause 4."

Sheldon felt his gut plummet. _Oh God, he knows, _he thought terrified. Then he remembered what ETC 4 actually was.

_The parameters set forth in this agreement may be terminated if a party is elected for any lucrative job prospect that arises outside of a 50 mile radius if it will benefit said party's career and the scientific community substantially. Written AND verbal notice must be given; rent for the following month must be paid in full. _

Sheldon had written that clause with himself in mind of course, but now it seemed that Leonard possessed a need to employ it.

Six. His roommate was moving out.

"What is the job opportunity?"

"I've been selected for the Jenkins Project at MIT."

Sheldon raised a brow. "Massachusetts?"

"Yea, I had been contemplating whether or not to accept the offer and I came to a decision last night after discussing the prospect with Alex. She thinks it's a good opportunity."

"Alex? My former assistant Alex?" Sheldon had not really spoken to his former assistant and he recalled that at some point she'd caused a rift in Leonard's relationship. "What about Penny?" Her name caused an unexpected feeling which was odd because it had been going through his mind all day. "Wouldn't this alter your relationship paradigm?"

"I actually wanted to tell you about that too . . ." Leonard had an awkward smile on his face as he reached into his pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a small item and Sheldon's vision blurred, his mind blocking out the offensive item and what it meant. "I'm taking Penny with me. I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Those words required a positive response. In their current social paradigm, Sheldon should feel happy for his friend and all his success. He should offer congratulations and say something akin to, "it's about time buddy!" But all he could feel was an emotion that he usually only felt in regards to his work whenever he learned about a competitor's discovery in scientific journals.

Seven. He was feeling nauseous and kept experiencing strange reactions. Sidebar: schedule medical evaluation.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Leonard asked.

"Mazel tov." He said circling his desk and taking a seat in front of his computer. "Would you please have your written notice by this evening? I would draft it for you, but I'm a bit busy so I'll accept whatever creative way you decide to word the document instead of carefully penning one myself."

"You're taking this surprisingly well... Aren't you upset that I'm leaving?" There was annoyance in Leonard's voice.

"I am very upset."

"Well, thanks Sheldon. I'll keep in touch and of course I'll let you know what the details are for the wedd-"

"I have to continue working Leonard, I'm sorry." Sheldon hoped Leonard didn't detect the snap in his voice.

"Okay… Oh, one last thing, they've allowed me to take the rest of the day off so I asked Amy to give you a ride home."

Eight. He was culpable for an act against his significant other and would have to face the consequences of his actions via Karma. _If you believe in that hokum_, he amended.

"Thank you, now, if you'll just lock the door on your way out."

Leonard gave his roommate one last look before exiting the office. Sheldon heard the definitive click letting him know he was once again safe from the outside world. He took more medicine for his headache and leaned his head in his hands.

He took great care in his life to avoid risks. It was so that he could avoid feeling the way he did now. In fact, he had spent a great deal of his life avoiding social interaction because of situations exactly like this. He acknowledged that a person needed amiable relationships to maintain levels of dopamine, endorphin, oxytocin, and serotonin. Last night, he let his primal urges get the better of him and decided to take more care to avoid situations like that. 'Anything can happen Thursdays' would be permanently banned.

Then it hit him. Regardless off his feelings there wouldn't be 'anything can happen Thursdays'. Leonard was on his way to their apartment right now to propose to Penny. They would both leave to Boston. Sheldon was quite used to the idea of Leonard leaving for months at a time and his schedule did not suffer much, but for the last few years there had been a companion he could count on.

He tried his best to remind himself that his friends had been together for years.

R_eally, though, it never worked out and they were always bickering, _he argued.

This event was inevitable and had been a long time coming.

_Didn't Leonard just turn Penny's proposal down? And vice versa only a while before!_

Leonard was very in love with Penny.

_He doesn't appreciate her curiosity or her merits, but instead focuses on physical attributes and sexual gratification._

Penny could no longer be with someone who wasn't intelligent and without Leonard …

Sheldon's mind returned to the previous night. Having a terrible dinner, but enjoying the company. Lying next to Penny on the roof. The kiss. His stomach ached and he dismissed it as being a result of him skipping lunch.

Unbidden the words of the faux-clairvoyant repeated themselves, _there is more than one way to satisfy a hunger._

Nine. Inexplicably, illogically and unfathomably he was experiencing an emotion that he had worked to suppress and it was all Penny's fault.


	7. Chapter 7: The Ampersand Destruction

**Your reviews keep me writing, thank you all for the kind words! Enjoy this chapter, I'm already working on the next one. :D**

**Nothing is mine except my mind and this wine! SPOILER WARNING: I took some events from S7 and tweaked them. **

**I know Leonard bought Penny a car, but I'm going to pretend that never happened. So she still has her old clunker in this story.**

Penny woke up opening her eyes slightly only to close them tightly again.

Someone had pissed off the sun gods.

There was a pounding behind her eyes and she had to pee, but neither feeling was strong enough for her to make the effort to get out of bed. She just groaned and adjusted her position. Her foot made contact with something hard and she heard the unmistakable sound of glass hitting carpet and liquid sloshing.

She had fading memories of last night coming in and out of focus. Something about Asian fusion and Jupiter… then Sheldon apologizing for something….

Penny's memories flooded in again and she groaned as guilt accompanied them. What the hell had she been thinking?

"I am never drinking again," she told her empty bedroom. If walls could talk they'd surely say, _uh huh, suuure._

Unable to ignore her bladder anymore she stumbled to the bathroom noticing she had managed to take off her pants and bra, but was still wearing yesterday's shirt. She took care of her body's demands then jumped in the shower and struggled to wash away the grimy feelings she had.

What was she going to do? Sheldon had thought he was out of line, but she was the one who owed him an apology. And Amy. Poor Amy whose entire existence seemed to revolve around Sheldon and the group. She couldn't imagine telling her and wondered if there was any possibility of hiding what had happened forever.

As if defying her the memory came in clearly causing her stomach to tighten. If she was honest she had always been curious about what it would be like, but giving in had sparked something she never expected. Alarmed by this Penny turned down the hot water, allowing the cold water to hit her skin and douse the feeling.

Emerging, she wrapped a towel around herself and tried to decide on a course of action. She found her phone buried in her comforter and discovered she had three missed calls. One from Amy and two from Leonard. The sinking guilt was back and she reconsidered never telling anyone, anything, ever.

She got dressed selecting a pair of jeans and a yellow tank top. Wandering to the kitchen she searched her fridge and chugged what was left of her orange juice, then grabbed a bottle of water and downed that too. She found a microwavable pot pie in the freezer and decided that would be her brunch. The clock on the microwave proclaimed it to be nearly 2 pm. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept this late.

As she waited for her 'meal' she looked around at her apartment. It was in disarray, as usual.

_Like my life,_ she thought bitterly.

She had her lunch and began cleaning her kitchen, then her bedroom and had just gotten to picking up laundry by the time it hit 3.

A knock on her door filled her with dread, but everyone she knew had real jobs so she relaxed wondering who it could be. When she opened the door her gut plummeted.

"Oh, hi Leonard," She said trying to pretend nothing was wrong. "Why aren't you at work?"

"Hey, I took the rest of the day off, I wanted to talk to you," he looked happy but her anxiety got the best of her.

"About what?" she asked hiding behind her door slightly.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"Um… because I'm your boyfriend. Is something wrong?"

Penny stood straighter opening the door, "No! Nothing's wrong come in," she said, probably too loudly and too quickly.

Leonard walked in eyeing her suspiciously before making his way to the center of her living room. She went to get a cup of the coffee she had brewes and he followed behind her. Right now his proximity was suffocating and she used the island to keep distance between them.

"So, what's up?" she asked. _Like a Band-Aid,_ she told herself.

"Well, I have some exciting news," he told her and she relaxed somewhat. He didn't know. Good.

"Oh?"

"Well about a month ago, I was informed of a rather large project the university is conducting with our sister campus, MIT. I applied and it looks like I'm going to be one of the leading physicists on the project!"

"That's great!" Penny said genuinely happy for him.

"Yea, I knew you'd be excited, so it's a two year project and I'll have to move on campus so I took the liberty of making arrangements."

"Cool, so is it in like… Monterrey? Or …" Penny had heard the boys talk about the school but had no idea where it was. She knew it was far, but such a major change meant it couldn't be too far if Leonard had already made arrangements.

"Uhm…" Leonard hesitated. "It's in Massachusetts. Massachusetts Institute of Technology."

Penny took too big of a gulp and burned herself, spilling coffee over the floor.

"Massachusetts?! Jeeze, Leonard and you didn't think to tell me sooner!?"

"Well, no, but I hadn't said yes until this morning. After everything that you've been complaining about lately and what happened last night I thought it was time for a change."

"Wait, so because I've been complaining you were just gonna leave me and go live in Massachusetts?!"

"No, no, of course not, I was going to take you with me!" He was trying to placate her and he clearly thought this was the proper solution, but she was more confused and angry.

"Leonard, I have a career here! A life! I can't just up and leave."

"I understand that, but you sounded so miserable making that movie, I just thought –"

"Just because I was complaining, doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, this is just one step –"

"Yea, but after how many years?" Leonard asked.

Penny felt as though she'd been slapped in the face. She put her cup down and could only stare, tears threatening to surface.

"Look, I'm sorry, Penny, but it's okay, I've given it a lot of thought," He said. "I know it's important to you so I took the time to call the film's director. He said they were going to replace you with a guy in a gorilla suit anyway."

This news nearly made her sick. The director was going to fire her? A choked sob escaped her lips.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Leonard came to hold her in his arms. She let the tears flow into his shoulder. "This is not at all how I wanted this to go."

Maybe he was right, there was nothing for her here. Years she had wasted struggling, working menial jobs trying to make something of herself. For what?

"Hey," he said pulling back to look at her. "I have something that will make this all better."

He dug around in his pocket as she looked for tissue to blow her nose. She found it and when she turned around he was holding something out to her. It took her a full second to realize what it was.

A ring.

"Will you marry me, Penny?"

Penny stared at the diamond there and she felt herself take a step back as though trying to distance herself from the item. There was no overwhelming happiness. She was devastated that she had lost her job, and she didn't feel at all like a princess in a fairy tale. She was hung-over, confused and miserable.

She could see Leonard getting impatient with her and she felt an odd sensation overtake her. There was something very different about him these days. Things she had confided to him were being used as ammo against her. She hadn't really acknowledged it, after all, hadn't she treated him poorly in the beginning? But the normal feeling of love and affection was absent here.

"I … I can't." She heard herself say.

His face fell, but he recovered, smiling awkwardly. "I understand. This isn't at all how I wanted it to happen either. Look, we'll take it slow. Once we're settled in at Boston-"

In that moment she realized her opinion didn't matter. She was his trophy. She was his reward for being "the good guy". An object, not to be taken seriously, but to be pretty and by his side.

Penny shook her head, tears slipping down her face. "I'm not going to Boston, Leonard."

He looked like an injured puppy and Penny felt horrible, she reached out trying to hold him, "I'm sorry but—"he pushed her hand away. Hard.

"You know what, fine, stay here. I'm done wasting my time." He stormed out slamming the door behind him. Penny broke out of her shock and tried to follow, grabbing her sweater and keys. As she searched for shoes a familiar scent pulled at her senses. It triggered something that made her stomach flutter and she realized it was her sweater. She stopped and looked at the item thoughts chasing one another in her head. It was the one she had been wearing last night, she pulled it up to her nose and inhaled. Soap. Sheldon.

She thought of what he'd say if he were in the room. He would be upset that Leonard was disrupting his life with this move and he would prepare her a hot beverage because she was upset. There was nothing as constant in the world as Sheldon Cooper.

Penny slipped on her flats and headed out the door, locking it behind her, but she didn't enter 4A. She hurried past and down the stairs. Her feet carried her down to the carport where she normally parked. Behind her car rested an old beach cruiser she had bought to exercise. Naturally, is was practically unused, but right now she could use the ride. She entered the combination on the lock and hopped on making her way down the streets to Cal Tech.

* * *

Sheldon had finally ventured out to the cafeteria to purchase a soup and salad. He decided it was his lack of food that was making him feel unpleasant, but after he finished his meal he still felt off. So he decided to distract himself instead with grading papers. After finishing that within a short time and feeling more upset he threw himself into his work. He was halfway through the second whiteboard when there was a knock on his door. He sighed and moved the center board to the middle of the room to clear a path to the door.

Disheveled, out of breath and with smeared mascara Penny stood before him. Having spent the last few hours picturing scenarios of her getting ready to travel far away he tried to piece together what possible events could have led her here.

"Can I come in?" Penny's voice sounded raspy.

"Um, yes," he said moving out of the way so she could enter. Once she was inside he closed the door and tried to collect his thoughts and what a proper recourse was.

For a moment they just stood there staring at one another. He could not remember a time in his life where words had failed him. Or failed Penny for that matter. The silence was deafening.

Sheldon noted the redness of her eyes and the streaks, which meant tears and the fact that she was here and not with Leonard meant they were of the unhappy variety and not joy.

"Penny, I'm not sure you should be here."

He saw her expression shift as though she were going to cry again. He realized his phrasing was probably to blame. It usually was.

"I am ill equipped to offer you a hot beverage," he added.

It certainly worked better than he expected, she smiled closing her eyes and letting out what sounded like a breath of relief.

"I'll take water instead if you have it," she said wrapping her arms around herself and taking one of the chairs in front of his desk. He went to the small mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Taking the chair opposite her he handed her the drink which she opened and nearly finished in one gulp.

"Thanks," she said. "I rode my bike here."

"I was unaware you still had that bike. I never see you use it."

"Yea, well, I used it today."

"Penny, why are you here? Leonard said he was going to propose, I thought -"

"Thought what? That just because I'm a failing, now unemployed actress with no money or hope that I would just up and move to Massachusetts so I could be a trophy wife and have smart, short, lactose intolerant babies?! Because that's all I'm good for! You know what, that's the last thing I want and I just – I just – "

She sounded like she was going to hyperventilate, but instead she burst into tears. Watching her was painful. He moved the chair he was in next to hers and put his arm around her clumsily. The chairs didn't allow for close contact so it was the best he could do. He was ill equipped to deal with the emotional outbursts of women. The small contact seemed to work as she leaned into him, crying into the sleeves of her sweater while he softly rubbed her back. There was only one other thing he could think of to do so he sang soft kitty.

* * *

Penny knew crying onto Sheldon's shirt wasn't an option. He wasn't the comforting type, so she used her own sleeves to catch her tears. When she heard him begin to sing her sobs subsided and she wiped her eyes, looking up at him. Penny couldn't believe that after all these years what would comfort her most was a children's song. It seemed so ridiculous that this was now what was considered safe to her. Years ago this same man had given her a creepy smile and pat on the back

"Thank you, Sheldon. Y'know, a few years ago you would have kept me at arm's length and awkwardly patted my shoulder."

"Well, you have been around a long time. I suppose I've assimilated to your presence."

She smiled softly, "Have I become homeostasis?"

"You don't become homeostasis you achieve homeostasis, really Penny. Use context clues," he lectured.

She laughed,"I can't believe you're yelling at me when I'm sad."

"I'm not yelling, my decibel level is normal, and if you're so sad why are you laughing?"

"Because you're funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny, I am attempting to reconcile your vocabulary."

"Well, I'm not in the right state to be reconciled at the moment."

He was going to correct her, but her look seemed to make him think better of it.

Sheldon still had his arm around her and she didn't want to mention it. That same smell that brought her here, of soap and male, was calming and something else that she didn't want to name. Something confusing and scary.

_What is wrong with me?_ She thought to herself. A week ago she was worried about being a good girlfriend for Leonard and now she was sitting here, single, being comforted by the most physically inept person she knew.

_Not COMPLETELY physically inept, _her libido piped up.

She straightened in her chair and Sheldon pulled away slightly. She'd nearly forgotten all about last night. His warmth brought back the memory vividly. He was so close and she just wanted something simple and pure, just for comfort.

His gaze changed and she saw in the light coming through the window that his pupils changed slightly making his eyes look darker.

A knock on the door made him move away and with good timing, because a moment later Amy walked in.

She took in their demeanor and her look changed from shocked, to confused to concerned.

"Oh my God, Penny what happened."

Sheldon stood and moved to his desk chair. Penny tried not to look as guilty as she felt. Once again she forgot all about the fact that Sheldon was off limits for more than one reason.

Amy seemed not to notice as she took the chair Sheldon had occupied, moving closer so that their knees touched.

"Did you and Leonard have another fight?" Amy asked

"Yes, and – well, I suppose it's over now. He's moving to Boston," she told her friend. Amy looked concerned and Penny told herself she really didn't deserve it.

* * *

Amy watched as Penny began to cry again, her sobs much more quiet now, but no less heart pulling. She rubbed her friend's shoulder looking to Sheldon for his reaction. His eyes darted between the two women, naturally out of his element.

When she'd had walked in and saw them embracing she had imagined the worst, but now as she heard Penny's grief she was glad Sheldon had been there for the girl.

"Why is Leonard moving to Boston?" Amy asked no one in particular.

Sheldon answered. "He is accepting a job in Massachusetts. The Jenkins Project."

Amy smirked, "The one you turned down months ago?"

"The very same. The projects at MIT are typically menial and frivolous. I expect this is no different, but I suppose that's more up Leonard's alley anyway."

"Agreed. Anyone who can't appreciate Penny's vivaciousness is clearly a subpar individual."

Penny wiped her eyes. "Thanks, Amy. I … I think."

"I think I'm missing some details though," Amy said. "What led to your relationships sudden - but inevitable - demise?"

"My relationships …? Oh, why we broke up. Well, for starters he quit my job for me so I could move to Boston, then he decided that to make everything better he would just propose!"

"I thought you wanted to marry him, isn't that why _you_ proposed?"

"Yea, but then I dunno…" she seemed to drift far off staring at something beyond Amy. "Something changed."

"Forgive me, but I believe the problem isn't that something changed. I think the issue is that nothing did. Leonard is the same person he's always been and what didn't work out before was never fixed."

"I agree with Amy," Sheldon said. This surprised both of them and they looked at him. Even he seemed taken aback. "Well, I do," he affirmed unapologetically.

"Let's get out of here," Amy said to Penny. "You can pick up Bernadette and we'll meet back at your apartment."

"I brought my bike, can I ride with you?"

"Sure, Sheldon, what are your plans?"

He stood from his desk and began gathering paperwork. "I need to address the issue of my current living situation being totally reconfigured. It may take months to reach a new contract with another individual."

Amy considered offering Sheldon the option to stay with her, but faltered. She recalled the paperwork tucked away into her purse. She could not offer him a place to stay if she was planning on terminating their relationship. She had planned to tell Sheldon everything, but it seemed that her timing was very poor. Instead she remained silent.

"I don't feel like seeing Leonard," Penny said.

Amy turned her attention to the blonde, normally so composed, but at the moment looking tired and defeated.

"I will head into the building first and make sure the coast is clear," Sheldon offered.

"Thank you, Sheldon. For everything."

He looked momentarily uncomfortable before nodding and heading out the door. Amy watched the two, falling back as they led the way to the parking lot.

"Will my bike be okay over the weekend?" Penny asked Sheldon.

"Yes, since I highly doubt anyone would want a bright pink beach cruiser. The student's here are well off enough that they don't resort to petty theft."

"What if they do it for the thrill?" she teased.

"Well, then I'm sure there are much better looking bikes than yours."

Penny stuck her tongue out at the physicist, but Amy was glad to see the blonde smiling.

They fell into a rhythm and she noted that though Sheldon was a stranger to most emotions, he had attempted to comfort Penny earlier. Whether either of them knew it, they had a paradigm all their own. Amy felt a brief stab of jealousy. It was something that was foreign, but she knew this was one of the main reasons behind her need to terminate their relationship.

A buzz in her pocket drew her attention to her phone.

_I saw this and thought of you. _The text message from Dr. Kumal read. There was link to a photo. It was a necklace that had the chemical bond for oxytocin. As a bioinformatics professional she knew that he was well aware that oxytocin was produced in physically satisfying situations. And it made him think of her?

She tucked her phone away unable to recall what she had been thinking about before.

**Aww, I really like Amy, so I promise she's going to be happy. As for Shenny lovers, the next chapter will be very confusing for them but happy for us. ; )**


	8. Chapter 8: The Break-Even Principle

**Wow, this chapter was very difficult to write. I didn't realize how heart wrenching it would be. Hopefully you all like the way it panned out. I went through two versions of it. **

**I don't own TBBT, but if anyone wants to share… no? Okay, :( **

Penny sat in the backseat waiting, her stomach in knots. Finally, her phone pinged and a simple text read, _Coast is clear._

She let out her breath and leaned forward to wrap her arms around the leather passenger seat.

"Sheldon said we're good to go. Any word from Bernadette?"

"She's heading straight over after work."

"What did you tell her?"

"'_Emergency. Bring wine.'"_

Penny smiled to herself. She felt like she didn't deserve such fantastic friends, but she promised herself she was going to do everything in her power to change that feeling.

"Well, I suppose we should head upstairs," Penny said getting out. Amy followed and they made their way up. Everything felt so different and strange, like walking through a dream. Between last night and today her entire life had been flipped. The person who annoyed her most was now her comfort and someone she had been ready to spend the rest of her life with was now a stranger.

Once the apartment door was closed she felt much better. She kicked off her shoes and sat on the couch clutching a pillow to her chest. Amy sat next to her and removed her bag.

"You know, Ames. I really feel like this is it. It's really over. As different from all the other guys Leonard was, he still ended up being just a creep who didn't respect me. I've officially lost hope."

"Don't say that. Just because your relationship is over doesn't mean your life is. Aren't you still attending PCC?"

"Yea, I got a B on my midterm."

"See! You just need to shift focus."

"I suppose so, but its sooo hard!" Penny whined burying her face in the pillow.

Amy smiled at her friend's reaction and then shifted focus as her phone buzzed. She looked at the caller ID.

"Is that Bernadette already?"

"Um, no…it's – I'll call him back."

Unless Penny was mistaken, which she knew she wasn't she could swear the woman was blushing.

"What was _that?_" Penny asked incredulously.

"The actual reason I texted you yesterday and today, though given current circumstances I believe it can wait," Amy replied setting her phone down.

"Because of me? Look this is nothing I haven't dealt with before. If you need to talk I'm here to listen. Besides, I could use a distraction. So spill, what's going on?" Penny leaned forward giving her full attention.

"Well, do you remember me mentioning our new hire down at the lab?"

"Yea, Dr. Kupal, Kuthal…"

"Kumal. Dr. Joshua Kumal."

"Right, what about him."

"Well, he's been a valuable asset to the company and has created a great program for my research. He and I have become good friends."

The tone and giant smile told Penny there was a story beneath the surface.

"Uh huh, and when did you fall for him?"

"Somewhere between our lunches and the text messages."

Penny wouldn't have believed it had Amy confessed last week, but the universe was all wacky and upside down, so why not? Amy was having thoughts about another man. Penny felt a protectiveness stirring in her gut. Sure, she probably had no right to be offended considering her own actions, but anger at the thought of Sheldon getting hurt was a natural instinct.

"So what are you going to do?" Penny asked concerned. "You have to tell him."

"Of course I do, I was going to tell him today, but with Leonard moving out his whole world would fall apart if I told him right now. Meanwhile, Dr. Kumal sent me this."

Amy showed her a text message photo of some kind of chemical design.

"What's that?"

"Oxytocin. The chemical our brain produces when we feel pleasure."

"Hmmm, I know all about that all right," Penny felt a blush of her own coming on. This was the moment of truth. She could tell Amy all about last night, risking the end of their friendship. Even if Amy was moving on there was no doubt she would still be angry. Nothing good came of kissing somebody else's boyfriend.

Penny opened her mouth to speak, but there was a knock on the door. Her words fell away as she got up to answer it, feeling like a coward. Bernadette was on the other side with the biggest bottle of wine she'd ever seen.

She took in Penny's appearance and frowned.

"Okay, whose ass do I have to kick?" Bernadette said.

Yep. There was a whole lot of awesome in Penny's friends and she couldn't risk losing them.

* * *

Somewhere between glass one and two Penny told them all about Leonard's proposal and how much of an ass he was.

Between glass two and three she told them about how much of an idiot she had been.

At glass four Amy told them about Dr. Kumal who came from Nepal and Penny burst into giggles because "Dr. Kumal of Nepal" was the best rhyme she had ever heard.

Around glass six… no… yea, six Penny was in tears again. They were all sitting around the living room, Penny and Amy on the couch and Bernadette in the armchair.

"I am such an idiot! I can't believe I was going to marry him! Wh- what am I gonna do-o?! I'm unemployed, single and I gained five pounds last week!"

Bernadette stood up and faced Penny hands on her hips.

"Snap out of it! You've gotten through this before, you'll get through it again!" She turned to Amy, "And _you_ are going to give Sheldon that paper _in person_ and tell him exactly what's going on!"

Both Amy and Penny snapped to attention at the woman's tone, sobering slightly.

"Bernadette, you're gonna be a really good mom someday," Amy slurred in awe.

"Yea, that was really good," Penny agreed. "I'd totally listen to you if you were my mom."

"Awww, thanks guys," Bernadette said smiling and sitting down again clumsily. "Seriously though, Penny, after about a week or so you'll have guys swarming the place. Plus, even if you're role _has_ been taken over by a guy in a gorilla suit, you're still in a movie. I'd call the director and ask to use him as a reference."

Penny leaned her head back on the armrest groaning, "Ugggh, I'll do it tomorrow!"

"Fine," Bernadette said going to take another drink but her glass was empty. "Damn. Well I'd better tell Howie to come pick me up when he gets back."

"Wait, did he drop you off?" Penny asked.

"Yea…" she paused looking guilty. "He was helping Leonard get his stuff, then they were going to the airport."

"Tonight?!"

"Apparently he doesn't start 'til next week, but he wanted to leave tonight so he changed his ticket."

"So… he's gone."

Both girls looked at Penny concerned, but the tears didn't come. Apparently, there weren't any more left.

* * *

Sheldon sat in his spot the next morning looking over the contract that Leonard had left on his desk. It was written exactly as he wanted it. He couldn't find any errors to nitpick. Naturally, that frustrated him. His stood up and filed it away in his desk and looked around. Everything looked almost the same, but items here and there were missing.

If only he had made a clause forbidding less than 24-hours' notice.

He felt a vague pang of annoyance that his friend hadn't even said a proper goodbye. Just a note on the fridge.

_Sorry, I just can't be around HER anymore. I'll see you in a few weeks when I get the rest of my stuff. Take care, buddy._

_-Leonard_

A loud knock on the door made him jump. He observed the time on his watch. 9:37am.

He wandered over wondering if it was Penny, but knew she and her female companions were most likely up late drinking. His stomach twisted as for probably the thousandth time he imagined Penny's lips. He suppressed it immediately finding it easier than before.

Sheldon opened the door to find Amy, clutching the strap of her handbag.

"Hello, Amy, this is unexpected," he said warily. Something in her eyes looked very fierce.

"Good Morning, Sheldon. I need to speak to you and I'm afraid it can't wait."

Sheldon's heart dropped as he moved out of the way. He could only assume that last night in her drunken duress Penny had let slip what had happened between them. He really wished he hadn't had Captain Crunch this morning.

He watched as Amy came to a stop in the middle of the room.

"Sheldon, I have a confession to make."

"I can explain-," he stopped realizing what she had said. "Wait, _you_ have a confession?"

"Yes, and I'm afraid I cannot wait as it is unfair to you," she took a deep breath then spoke in a rush. "Iwishtoterminateourrelationshipagreement."

Her words processed slowly and when they he understood their meaning he felt… confused. Or was it anxious…

"Under what terms?" He asked.

"I'm afraid… I have feelings for someone else, Sheldon." Her eyes reflected the emotion he was feeling.

Pain? Yes, that seemed the most logical. His fear and concern had been correct. He was good at a great many things, however this entire model eluded him.

"I understand, well, I suppose I'll expect your paper-," his words faltered. Odd. He cleared his throat. "Paperwork."

Amy crossed to stand in front of him her distress written all over her face. "Sheldon, I am so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen! I just wanted companionship I never thought…"

He put his hand on her shoulder. How strange that it had been so difficult for him before. He let his hand slide down to her hand and held it for a second. He met her eyes and found that she was crying.

He tried to muster a smile, but found it more difficult than he'd anticipated.

"I hope that you are very happy with your new beau Amy Farrah Fowler."

She threw her arms around his waist and Sheldon felt very uncomfortable. He had no experience with this situation. Should he comfort her? A hot beverage seemed greatly inadequate. Plus, who was going to make him one.

He patted Amy on the back softly before she pulled away.

"I hope that we can retain our friendship paradigm," Amy said wiping her eyes.

"Of course." Sheldon said and he meant it whole heartedly.

They both stood there awkwardly for a moment. Neither knowing what to say.

"Thank you, Sheldon. You've given me so much. I have friends and it's thanks to you."

Sheldon shook his head. "No, Amy that was all on your own. I merely introduced you. Your friendships are your own."

Amy smiled and hugged him again, more quickly this time before going to the door. "I'm so sorry, but I have to go."

"Okay," he said watching her hesitate. She reached into her purse and pulled out a folded up paper and handed it to him. He was beginning to loathe paperwork. He took it and watched as she left leaving him in an empty apartment and for once in his life, he felt burdened by loneliness.

**That was pretty difficult for me, but hopefully you'll all forgive me for ending ShAmy. On to the Shenny. Next chapter soon!**


	9. Chapter 9: The Pattern Reclamation

**Thank you for all the follows/favs/reviews! Here's a short chapter, lets see if we can get to 150 (we're so close!).**

**This chapter may contain Doctor Who spoilers, but only for people who have never watched it.**

**Shenny goodness! This one is sweet, the next one is spicy. **

**I own nothing, enjoy. **

For the second time in as many days Penny woke up loathing the sun. It shone in her eyes and as she waited for the pounding to stop she tried to recall last night.

Amy had spent the night on her couch. All of Penny's clothes were still on, so that was a good sign. Maybe her friend had made coffee. It was still quiet, so probably not. Penny got up and went to the bathroom then showered to clear her head. She threw on faded blue jeans with an old white tank top and tied back her hair. When she was done it was still quiet. The time read 11am.

Entering her living room she found the blankets Amy had used folded up on the couch a small post it on top.

_I didn't sleep very well. Had to tell Sheldon. Coffee's on the warmer. –Amy_

Penny's heart raced as she reread the message. Forgoing shoes, she grabbed her keys and raced across to 4A. She pressed her ear against the door. Silence. She tried knocking. Nothing. Her last resort was using her keys, rudeness be damned.

She opened the door and met Sheldon's startled gaze. He sat in his spot a folded piece of paper in his hands. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked drained. She crossed to his side closing the door behind her. She didn't say a word as she sank into the cushion next to him resting her head on his shoulder wrapping an arm around his shoulder. She feared he'd pull away, tell her off, she was waiting for it because that meant everything was the same.

Instead he reached up and held the hand draped on his left shoulder. Both of them were very aware that somehow, everything had changed and the only thing they had left was each other.

'Senselessness Saturday' had begun.

* * *

"Do you want to talk, sweetie?" Penny asked softly. He could feel her voice vibrate against him, that's how close she was. He registered her question, but felt disinclined to answer it. Instead, he picked up the Xbox controller and began to search.

"Have you ever watched Dr. Who, Penny?"

"No, well, Leonard didn't care for it much."

"Of course not, he obviously lacks sense. We'll start at the beginning then, well more accurately the beginning of the 2005 series."

"Are you sure you don't want to – "she started, but he cut her off.

"It's Saturday, Penny. Every Saturday, I watch Dr. Who." He turned to her hoping to convey the importance, but he'd somehow forgotten how close they were. Her hand slid down his back as they lingered face-to-face for what seemed like ages in Sheldon's mind.

"Okay," she finally said, a tenor in her voice. She sat back against the couch moving her hands onto her lap.

He told himself that he was relieved, but bereaved seemed more accurate. As the beginning scene with Rose going about her daily life before she'd met The Doctor he was suddenly reminded of Penny and their similarities.

Rose always had been his favorite.

* * *

At around 10:30pm Penny was searching the cupboards for tea bags. They had binged watched the first season of Doctor Who taking breaks to order food and after that last episode, she was upset. She had even shed a tear for the 9th Doctor until Sheldon told her not to worry, he came back.

"I don't understand how he could just die like that and then be replaced!" Penny argued.

"I felt the same way, but I assure you David Tennant does an incredible job of fleshing out the Doctor's character. He was so good in fact, that I consider him my favorite."

"I don't know he looks kind of dorky. That Eccelston guy was good looking." She like the rugged look.

"Penny, you haven't even been properly introduced, there are many more seasons after this."

She finally found the mint tea that Sheldon usually chose. She found that taking care of him and falling into a pattern was helping her stay distracted and she didn't mind doing for him what he would be doing for her. A part of her felt incredibly vulnerable though. A little voice kept telling her, _you don't belong here._

She silenced it with a rebuttal immediately knowing there was nowhere else she had belonged more in her life. She stared blankly at the kettle waiting for the water to heat up. She could remember a time just like this months ago when even though Leonard was gone, this was still her refuge. Sheldon had not once stopped being her friend and she refused to let him down. She turned to face him and was surprised to find him staring at her with a curious look on his face.

It was the same look he gave his whiteboard. Penny leaned back against the stove trying to act nonchalant, but feeling strange at being studied by those sharp blue eyes.

"Tea's almost ready," she said trying to fill the silence.

Sheldon stood and walked slowly across the room. As he closed the distance she felt her pulse race and she got a chill. In this crazy alternate universe they were caught in, she couldn't predict anything. It scared the hell out of her.

"You're making me a hot beverage," Sheldon said not looking away from her like she wished he would.

"It's customary to offer a person a hot beverage when they're upset," she replied matter-of-factly.

Penny saw a small smile form and then disappear quickly. She wanted so badly to bring it back, but having been dumped plenty of times she knew it took time. Then it hit her. He hadn't gone through this… this was quite possibly his first breakup.

"Sheldon, do you want to talk about what happened?" She asked again.

"No."

"It might help."

"Are you familiar with what 'no' means? Here's a hint: it means no." He sat at the island and looked surly.

His tone made her cringe. Yea, of course it wouldn't be that easy. He wasn't usually this standoffish, difficult and aggravating, yes, but this was a different man.

The kettle went off and she turned to pour the hot water into a cup and steep the tea bag. She turned to hand him his mug and was startled to find he was gone. She took the mugs and walked to his bedroom. Sure enough he was in there lying on his side facing away from her. She remembered the artic and how that had affected him. She thought back to how angry with Leonard she had been. Penny kicked herself again for letting such a selfish person back into her life. She took the cups and set them down, careful to use a coaster. She'd never hear the end of it otherwise.

"Penny –" Sheldon started, but she cut him off.

"Yea, yea, no one is supposed to be in your room," she recited sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I have long given up the idea that you're going to follow that rule. I've gotten used to your manifestation everywhere else, I might as well acknowledge that you go where you want. You're like a cat."

"Yea," she said smiling.

"I hate cats."

Penny glared at him. "Well, fine if you want to be pouty and mean, I'll leave you alone."

She stood to go, frustrated and offended, but he sat up and grabbed her hand. "No, Penny, please… Stay, I'm sorry."

Did he just apologize? The look he gave her was so out of character, so strange for him that it pulled on her. She sat back down and was surprised when he just laid back still holding her hand.

Penny knew she was never going to have another opportunity to be this close to him. She decided that if the world was going to be chaotic and weird then she was going to embrace it. After all, maybe this was all just a crazy dream. She lifted his arm and turned her back to him, laying on the pillow next to him pinning his arm around her.

Her heart pounded with anxiety at the risk she was taking. There was every likelihood that he would snap back to reality and kick her out for daring to enter his bubble. She waited. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi …

His scent invaded her senses.

Four Mississippi, five Mississippi …

He shifted slightly apparently getting comfortable.

Six Mississippi, seven Mississippi, eight Mississippi, nine …

She was too tired to count to ten. She just stopped counting and let sleep envelop her.

* * *

Sheldon had never had a woman in his bed, but he was not a stranger to what happened in these situations. He had trysts when he was a teenager, but nothing that could compare to the thrills science could bring him. He got to travel, being praised for his hard work, being praised for his mind. Anything physical was temporary, the young women eventually getting tired of playing second fiddle to his love of science. Years later, the same problem arising again.

Until…

Everything in his life was carefully planned and predictable. It was a safe solution so that he could continue to unravel the mysteries of the universe without distraction. He could not stop his life's work for some fling.

Then this woman had somehow burst into his carefully built system like a supernova, emitting energy and light that couldn't be ignored, no matter how hard he tried. She pulled him in changing his routines, taunting him with her blatant unruliness.

As Sheldon pondered all this, he heard her breathing regulate and he realized she was asleep. Of course, her entire life was chaotic, unplanned and full of angst. Everything that had happened in the last two days was just one more wave in the explosion that was Penny's life.

Her warmth started to relax him and though he told himself he needed to continue his schedule, his body protested. He had expended too much energy. His eyelids grew heavy and he burrowed into his pillow. He was still wearing his jeans and t-shirts, not at all the pajamas he was used to. Regardless, he was pretty damn comfortable.

Sheldon dozed off, one arm draping over Penny in his sleep. He didn't even stir when she turned around, resting her head on his chest.

**I'm working on one more chapter of set up, then we'll get some M Shenny. ; )**


	10. Chapter 10: The Rabbit Hole Parameters

**More than 150 followers YAY! XOXOX**

**This chapter took a lot of work! I had three versions before I had one I liked. Sheldon is a little OOC, but if he wasn't nothing interesting would happen!**

**Ready or not here we go!**

**I own nothing!**

Something was buzzing obnoxiously against Penny's butt. She was going to turn it off, but she was far too comfortable. She let it continue to buzz. It stopped momentarily only to start up again. _Nuh uh, too warm, not moving._ Halfway through the third buzz the second time she felt something brush against her and reach for her phone through her jean pocket and effectively silencing it.

Penny's eyes shot open and she tried to process what had happened. She was face to face with Sheldon, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. He was obviously awake, but his eyes were closed. Her heart shifted from shock to… something else. She was flush against him, her legs tangled with his, his arm around her and – he just looked so damn handsome.

_What the ACTUAL fuck!_ Some part of her brain screamed. This was Sheldon Effing COOPER.

Yea, they were very far down the rabbit hole.

So, how much further would she go before she reached the bottom? She eyed his lips wondering just how different this Sheldon was from his Vulcan counterpart. As if reading her thoughts his eyes drifted open slowly. It was then she realized that his hand was resting on her hip. She noticed because it began sliding down over her thigh and she felt her stomach do a slow flip. Sadly it slid away as Sheldon rolled over onto his back where he lied staring at the ceiling.

What Penny wouldn't give in that moment to be able to read minds. She couldn't stop thinking about the feel of him. It just felt so… _good._ She turned onto her back as well and looked at the ceiling. As an actress she often pictured things from a camera's perspective. Right now she imagined the angle, straight down, the two of them staring at the ceiling, shell shocked. She tried to suppress it, but couldn't. She started giggling softly. Then Sheldon looked at her and she met his gaze, yup, shell shocked. She burst into a fit of giggles.

"What?!"

"You look so traumatized. It's like we—like we –!" The giggles erupted further.

"Good god, woman, you've lost your mind."

Penny just nodded, losing her ability to breathe.

"Stop. You're being too loud. I have a headache.

The more she tried to stop the harder she laughed. She felt his hands on her wrists and was confused. Why was he grabbing her? How was that going to make her stop?

Then he pinned them on either side of her head. His knee rested between her legs. Yup she was effectively shut up. But he didn't stop, he just moved forward and she closed her eyes expectantly. Her heart was pounding.

"You… are so…" his voice was an octave she'd never heard. Deep and very Texan.

"So?" She needed to hear this.

"Disruptive."

Her eyes opened. That was more like the Sheldon she knew. She rolled her eyes and moved to get up, but he was still holding her there. She looked at him and noticed it seemed fairly effortless for him. He was so tall he totally entrapped her. He just looked at her again, like she was an equation and he wasn't done calculating her.

This annoyed her. She felt vulnerable and exposed and she didn't like it.

"Shit or get off the pot, Cooper."

He looked confused, "Excuse me?"

"Either kiss me, or let me go," she said poignantly. She meant it to sound confident, but her voice hitched.

"I haven't decided whether I want to yet, be patient."

The words made her bristle. She was totally on edge and he was just… not. Fine, if he wanted to be an ass, she'd take him down like one. She fought his hold, but he possessed a strength she didn't know he had.

"Now, now, I said be patient. Do you _want_ me to kiss you?"

"What?! No, let me go." A blush crept up her cheeks.

"You seemed to a moment ago, that's what I'm struggling with. I don't know what the protocol is."

"The protocol is let. Me. Go." Her body was hoping for the complete opposite.

"Fine."

He let go and moved away from her looking confused. "I'll never understand you, Penny. You're an enigma."

And with that he stood grabbing the mugs of his bedside table and taking them out of the room. Penny sat on the bed trying to figure out A) what the hell just happened and B) why was she so flippin turned on? She got up and crossed the room entering the kitchen where Sheldon was setting the dishes in the sink. As though nothing had happened.

She walked up behind him just as he turned and put her hands on his chest. He looked surprised. Actually surprised that she was touching him, as though they hadn't just been pretzeled on the bed like teenagers.

"I've made up my mind," she said, pinning him against the counter.

"Oh? On?" he probed.

"I want you to kiss me," she affirmed standing on her tiptoes against him.

Something shifted in his expression from faint interest to determination.

"That's all I needed to hear."

Sheldon's lips met hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck letting out a sigh of relief.

* * *

He caught the fire in her eyes briefly before closing the distance between them. The kiss was tentative and slow, eliciting a small moan from Penny's throat that did wonders to encourage his actions. Now that he could focus on the event more clearly he found that this was far more pleasing than the previous occurrence. Though it was clear he was no expert, he matched Penny's actions and knew that when he did something she liked, there was a subtle response. For example, when he brushed his tongue against her bottom lips she made a small sound he analyzed as approval. So he continued and explored further. What if he added a faint touch in a sensitive area? He moved his hand to the back of her neck making sure to make contact with the soft skin there. Another approval, this time her pushing back against him. Penny's eagerness drove him farther back until he was pinned between her and the countertop.

Sheldon tried to stay focused enough to take notes, but she kept distracting him. Her right hand was buried in his hair and her left hand was running from his chest to his abdomen. A guttural sound escaped his throat and his instincts told him to do a great many primal things to her. He focused all his energy on grabbing her left hand and pinning it against the small of her back where it wouldn't wander. It was important that he didn't do anything too quickly and ruin what they had. In fact, they probably shouldn't be doing this. She was his only constant companion, he couldn't risk becoming another of her ex-boyfriends.

Boyfriend, lord where did that come from? It took all of his willpower to pull away from the kiss and remove her other hand from him. He looked down at her memorizing the swollen look of her lips and the dilation of her pupils, committing it to his memory for future reference.

"That's not fair," she said closing her eyes in what appeared to be frustration.

"What isn't?" He asked.

"Do you _have_ to be good at _everything_?"

He couldn't deny the elevation to his ego that statement brought, but he reminded his baser self that they needed to approach this situation very carefully.

"I don't _have_ to, but I put a great deal of effort into being the best I possibly can be at anything I approach. Otherwise, what is the point?"

* * *

Penny shook her head trying to clear her thoughts and focus. Of course he would be cocky about his ability to just be fantastic at everything. Weren't all guys?

She looked up and tried to decipher the emotions there. He swallowed and took a step back. Unless she was mistaken, his gaze was on her lips. Not her breasts or body. Her lips.

A foreign emotion was creeping into her own brain. One that was protective and selfish at the same time. She never wanted that look on his face to go away.

_What the hell is happening? _Penny thought to herself while her memory explored for an answer. She thought about every time she pushed his buttons for the sake of it. How she had memorized his schedule and adapted to it even though she didn't have to. Then there was the little part of her that added that nobody challenged her the way he did.

That terrified her.

They had both just gone through break ups, the need for a rebound was natural, but not with Sheldon. She couldn't risk it. Just then her phone rang and she looked down. It was Bernadette, and from the looks of it she and Amy had called a few times.

"It's Bernadette, I better take this and y'know, shower and stuff," She said seizing the opportunity for distance.

"Yes, I too should begin my routine," he agreed a little too quickly.

For some reason she was hurt slightly by that, but all the more reason to leave in her opinion.

"Uhm, okay then. I'll see you later?"

"Since we're neighbors I don't doubt it."

"Yea." More hurt. _What the hell, Penny?_ She told herself.

As she made her way out the door she was surprised when Sheldon stopped her halfway. She turned and noted the unsure look on his face.

"Penny, if you catch up on episodes during the week you can come over Thursday and watch more Doctor Who."

Penny couldn't suppress her smile, "Okay, yea that sounds good. I'll bring popcorn."

"We can call it Tardis Thursday," he confirmed looking excited.

A laugh escaped her and before she could stop herself she stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, then rushed out and didn't stop until she was in her room. She laid on her back staring at the ceiling.

Yup, same ceiling, but the room seemed a lot brighter.

**They're trying to distance themselves, but at the same time coming up with excuses to see each other. More soon! **

**Keep the reviews coming! It reminds me not to forget!**


	11. Chapter 11: The Aftermath Composure

**What is this? Two chapters in one week? I'm already working on Ch. 12 so keep those reviews coming!**

**Once again, me no own, you no sue.**

Late Wednesday afternoon Penny entered the apartment building stopping to get her mail. She had gone to an early morning audition and had picked up her last check afterwards. The money was barely enough for rent and groceries for the next two months. She hoped that she'd find something soon, but if not it was time to start begging for her old job back.

Lugging her tired body up the stairs she felt utterly defeated. Leonard had ruined everything with his plan to essentially elope. Her career was in shambles, she had nothing to fall back on and above all she was alone. As she neared the fourth floor, she felt her heart speed up like it had for the last day and a half whenever she thought about what remained behind 4A. Maybe not completely alone.

Penny considered knocking on the door as she passed. She even came up with excuses, but none of them sounded realistic. Instead, she moved past to her own door. Once inside she took off her shoes and pushed them to the side of the door. For some reason she was constantly keeping the apartment unusually clean.

"_Some reason"_, she mocked herself out loud. She knew very well why. Because some part of her was waiting for Dr. Whack-a-doodle to drop by and notice.

She quickly changed into shorts and began making a batch of spaghetti sans meatballs since she was all out. So it was more of a tomato pasta than anything.

Yup, it was time to start rethinking her career options if she wanted to survive the summer. As she waited for the noodles to boil she turned on her TV and pulled up Netflix. In the recently watched section was Doctor Who. She debated for a minute and finally hit play. She'd watch a few episodes then get to bed and catch an early casting call.

* * *

Between finishing her spaghetti and "The Satan Pit" she was in love with David Tennant. He was smart, savvy and, dare she say it, a "little bit foxy." Then there was Rose, who she had liked before, but the way they played off one another she just wanted them to end up together.

She felt herself dozing off and checked the clock; 1 am! Geeze. She needed to go to bed.

As soon as she hit the mattress however she was wide awake. Maybe it was the romance she had just seen between The Doctor and Rose, but her thoughts drifted to her more carnal needs. There would be a big dry spell coming and she didn't do well with those. Though she was her own best lover, there was only so long that could satisfy her.

Naturally, her thoughts wandered across the hall. How would her Texan physicist react if she waltzed in? She thought of the way he'd kissed her, how quickly he'd caught on.

The voice of reason piped up interrupting her fantasy. There were more risks here than she was acknowledging. For one, Sheldon may be a fast learner, but he was definitely not an expert in relationships. She remembered their discussion about friends with benefits and cringed.

Rolling onto her side she considered the other option, then stopped. NO. There were no other options. There was no way she could be in a relationship with Sheldon. He was just too much. She couldn't deal with all of that all of the time… Could she?

She ran multiple scenarios. He was constantly scolding her for her lack of intelligence. Then again, he had been patient in teaching her multiple things, though "patient" was used loosely. He got very exasperated very often, and so did she, it would never work... Unless she found some way to fix that. After all there was one variable she wasn't considering.

Penny imagined Sheldon getting annoyed with her and she with him, their bickering leading into the bedroom and then onto the bed in a very hot makeup session. She had met a few Texan girls who were always bragging about their lovers back home. She was more than curious.

Her mind kept running different arguments until she began to fall asleep. Her dreams were filled with blue boxes and tall physicists.

* * *

Sheldon sat in his apartment letting the sounds from the game on his laptop fill the silence around him. The only reason he was up so late was because he was enjoying himself. It had nothing to do with the feeling of vulnerability his empty apartment gave him. Nor did it have to do with the faint feminine scent that lingered on his bed things. It was simply an enveloping game which he didn't want to leave.

Several times he considered getting up and crossing the hall, but he had stopped himself. He was a grown man. He could handle being alone, after all he'd done it most of his life. There was no need to convey otherwise.

A cluster of beasts attacked his character and his health bar never recovered. Sheldor was dead for the umpteenth time that night. He made an annoyed sound and removed his headphones signing off in frustration.

Sheldon's mind came up with several very colorful phrases, but he didn't let them out. Mental training allowed him to suppress the words effortlessly in case his mother was ever near enough to hear them. His phone buzzed as if on cue and the caller ID revealed his mother's home number.

"Hello mother, to what do I owe the pleasure of this late night phone call?"

"I couldn't sleep and I reckon it's because neither can you."

"Mother, I highly doubt that your insomnia is due to some sort of maternal psychic bond or any other such superstitious nonsense."

"A mother's intuition is never wrong Shelly. Now what's on your mind?"

"Nothing is on my mind, you called me," he averted.

"Mmmhmm," he could hear the annoyance in that sound. "Well, you never call your dear old mother to fill her in on your life, so humor me. How was your week?"

Sheldon sighed knowing there was no way around it he tried to speak quickly so she'd miss the fine details. He told her about Leonard leaving, Amy's termination of their relationship agreement and the happenings within his department.

"Well, Shelly it's no surprise you can't sleep. I'm surprised you didn't jump on a train and run on back here."

"I considered it," he admitted.

"You know my door's always open – provided you knock," she added warningly. "You'll bounce back though darlin', you always do. The lord provides, honey, never forget that. He'll always find a way."

"Mother, no offense, but I've had enough vague spiritual encouragement to last me a decade in the last week alone."

"Well, too bad, it's all I've got," she snapped over the phone. There was a pause while she moved to the next topic. "So you haven't said, where's Penny during all this? I don't think she's the type to move following someone else's dreams…"

At the mention of the blonde, Sheldon felt a pang of fear. He couldn't tell his mother the truth, nor could he lie. The woman had been picking apart his tall tales since before he had built his first computer. He opted for elusiveness.

"Penny stayed behind, though she is now unemployed."

"And single, poor girl," his mother noted almost nonchalantly.

"Mother, don't." Though his mother was attempting to convey that she was concerned, he knew the way her mind worked. Especially since his sister had just had a child. No doubt his mother was fixating on his own lack of progeny.

"'Don't' what? I'm just saying that girl needs a friend right now and I raised you better than to turn a blind eye to those in need."

"I haven't turned a 'blind eye', I offered her a hot beverage and invited her over to watch television tomorrow night."

"Oh, good, make sure you don't rush anything. Maybe you can invite her to the Fourth of July barbeque," there was an excited pang in her voice.

"Mother, the entire time I was with Amy Farrah Fowler you didn't once offer an invitation to any sort of family situation. Why would you extend one to my neighbor?"

He heard her falter and begin shuffling things before answering, "Well, y'know, Shelly Amy is a nice girl and I've always liked her."

"However?" he predicted.

"However, the two of you were about as exciting as a mashed potato sandwich."

Sheldon was torn between agreeing with her and feeling hurt. Instead of dwelling, he continued his questions.

"So then why ask about Penny?"

"Sheldon Lee, a mother knows a lot more than she tells. You just focus on being nice to that neighbor girl of yours and remember, hot will cool if greedy will let it, so be patient. I gotta get to bed Shelly, momma loves you."

"Love you too," he said and heard the line disconnect with a chime. He couldn't tell if he felt better or worse, but the conversation certainly left him exhausted.

Sheldon stood and walked through the apartment to his bedroom, ignoring the empty room next to his. Movers would be here Monday to retrieve the remaining boxes and disassembled furniture according to the email he had received. Other than that he hadn't heard from the man he had once considered a best friend.

Once he was finished with his nightly routine and clad in his plaid pajamas his thoughts drifted across the hall. As he turned over wondering why on earth he still hadn't washed his comforter or pillowcases the scent of feminine soap assaulted him and lured him into a REM cycle.

**Short filler chapter, but it's leading to the next chapter. Ready for the 'M' rating content?**


	12. Chapter 12: The Relaxation Problem

**The time is neigh faithful readers, this chapter is 'M' but tame. The next chapters will begin escalating in Shenniness.**

**I brought in more characters and that means some more spoilers from season 7. Also more Doctor Who spoilers. **

**Well, I'll stop yapping. I do not own BBT. I merely borrowed the characters and made them cooler. **

In his office, Sheldon had one white board against the right wall, one against the left wall and one in the middle. He was at the center, hair mussed from all the times he'd run his hands through it. His eyes darted from board to board trying to decipher his own workings, but it was no use. It was as though his entire brain was focused on one thing and that one thing was driving him mad.

He rounded his desk and sat in his chair unceremoniously knocking a stack of paper onto the floor. It made him feel better, but annoyed at the same time.

What was wrong with him?

Everything he'd done this far in life had been premeditated and planned, but now he couldn't control his own libido. He put his head on the desk, its coolness easing away his headache slightly.

He had sent an email to Leonard's mother explaining his predicament. Her answer had included a well-researched paper on several monks who had devoted their entire lives to chastity, only to deviate immediately once leaving the church and being introduced to modern sexual culture. He wanted to dismiss it, but knew there had to be some truth to it. After all it was very plausible…

He just didn't want it to be.

A knock on his door made him lift his head from his desk. Raj walked in carrying a white carryout container.

"Hey, I didn't see you in the cafeteria," Raj pointed out setting down the white container. He eyed Sheldon concern playing over his features. "You okay?"

Sheldon hadn't seen either Raj or Howard since Leonard's departure and quite frankly didn't expect to. He had prepared himself to be forgotten once his roommate had gone. Sheldon reached for the container acknowledging his hunger for the first time.

"I'm as well as can be expected considering my roommate has left, I've had a relationship terminated and the university has denied my request to pursue other fields."

Raj pursed his lips and nodded taking a seat opposite Sheldon's desk, "I heard. Look, you can't let that get you down. I worked with you and at the time you were really close to something good. Maybe you just need to find something to get you back on track."

Sheldon looked at the man and felt like he was seeing him for the first time. How many times had he been crass and rude to him and now he was here trying to help.

"Thank you, Raj."

"No, problem, but I'm afraid I have more bad news. Stewart's shop? It burned down, dude."

Sheldon groaned and returned his head to his desk, great, now he would have to add that to his list of things going wrong.

"Look, I'm going there after work, you could tag along," he said but it sounded more like a question. "I'm going to see if Stewart will let me salvage some manga."

Sheldon considered this staring at his carpet and noting the various papers that littered the floor.

"No, that's alright. I have to continue pursuing the dead ends that are my research and then meet up with Penny." As soon as the last few words left his mouth he wanted to take them back, though he couldn't fathom why.

"Penny? How is she?" Raj looked genuinely worried.

"As perplexing as always," Sheldon muttered, again wishing he could take the words back. Why was he telling Raj any of this?

"I see," he said, but looked confused and then moved to leave

"Look, if you change your mind let me know, okay?" Raj added stopping in the doorway, turning back slightly "Oh, and don't forget to eat. The brain needs food just as much as the body."

Sheldon opened the container and began to take bites, but it was only scratching the surface of the ache in his stomach. Once he finished his mind was still a mess, he stared at his work unable to make sense of any of it.

_Back on track,_ Raj's words echoed in his head. _The brain needs food as much as the body._

There is more than one way to satisfy a hunger.

It clicked with all the force of a metric ton. He wouldn't give credit to the woman with her hippy incense and vague recommendations, but combined with the research he'd read earlier a hypothesis was being formulated.

Standing forcefully and walking to his white boards he cleared all three and began outlining his thoughts. He brought up the database of journals on his computer and cross-referenced several psychology papers and medical research results before his darkest fears were revealed and then made real. It would require experimentation and a lot of data before he could give it credit, but the hypothesis was sound.

Drawing from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, belonging and intimacy were something a person naturally desired. He hadn't most of his life because he'd found it pursuing his primary need of self-actualization. By ignoring the instinctual need for contact, he had merely began to seek it out subconsciously.

Sheldon played with the idea, his pulse racing as images of what his "experimentation" could lead to. He was entering uncharted territory. Furthermore, there was risk. He could solve his problem, but cause several others.

He began a pros and cons list on a second board and worked on that for a bit and though there were quite a few pros, one big con caused him to stop mid-sentence. He thought of the paper Amy Farrah Fowler had given him tucked away in a filing cabinet at home. Setting the marker in the tray he paused and took a step back.

Penny's tear streaked face as she sobbed in his office surfaced. The way she looked as she slept. Hadn't countless men considered what he was doing right now? Hadn't they done so for just as selfish of reasons? Sheldon felt sick with himself. This is what base urges led to. Pain.

With a determined look he took a cloth and erased his white boards. There were other ways he could get over this. He just had to think of them. A ringing from his desk drew his attention. He finished removing the last black mark of evidence and pushed the theory out of his head.

Sheldon looked at the caller id before checking the clock. 5:30pm Thursday.

"Hello, Penny," he answered.

* * *

Penny felt a stir as he answered and internally scolded herself. It was just Sheldon and just Doctor Who.

"Hi, Sheldon, I was just wondering if you wanted a ride home," she told him after he spoke her name. "I was in the neighborhood so I figured I'd call."

She felt more than heard the pause and wondered if he could detect her lie. She had actually spent all her time after class getting ready, changing outfits several times before getting in her car and driving over to Cal Tech.

"That sounds optimal. How soon before you arrive?"

Penny bit her lip considering another lie. "Actually I'm in the parking lot," She confessed cringing at her ridiculousness. She was being so immature. IT'S JUST SHELDON! She screamed at herself.

"Fantastic, I'll be right out," he said.

She was going to reference his choice of words but thought better of it. She just issued a quick "Kay," in response.

She pulled down her small mirror and began checking her appearance. She was wearing a dark blue shirt and cut off shorts. She had also traded her flats for some old converse she had in her closet. It was appropriate she'd thought, but then considered maybe the shorts were a little too short. Maybe too desperate.

She lectured herself again, this was not a date. Just two friends getting dinner and watching Doctor Who. So the anxiety and tapping of nails on the window frame was unnecessary. . .

Penny felt like hours had passed before Sheldon finally came out of the building and headed to her car. She did one last make up check in her rear view mirror before settling back and unlocking the door. Once he was inside she could smell his soap and it relaxed her.

"So, what do you want for dinner?" she asked pulling away from the parking lot.

"Something light," he said and she heard a slight bit of stress in his voice.

"Hard day?" she asked. She took in his appearance and noted his messy hair and the circles under his eyes.

He smirked and responded, "You have no idea."

"Well, what about pizza? We can start watching Doctor Who and let food come to us."

She was focused on the road, but could feel his eyes on her.

"That sounds good."

At a red light she finally turned to meet his stare. She couldn't decipher the look he was giving her, but it made her shiver.

"You're quiet today," she commented. "What were you working on?"

His eyes widened slightly and he looked out the window before replying, "Nothing, you probably wouldn't understand." But she knew that look. That was the 'hand in the cookie jar' look.

"Oh kaay," she said confused. "Try me anyway, you never know, I might get bits and pieces."

"It's really boring." His face twitched. He was lying!

Probe or not to probe she thought pulling in her space at the apartment.

Definitely probe.

As the car shut off and Sheldon reached for the handle she locked the door. He looked at her once before focusing on the dash with all his might.

"Penny, if we don't order now, we'll be forced to wait before eating and will have less time to catch up on episodes."

Penny tried to think of a good rebuttal, but she had nothing. Instead she reached out and put her hand under his chin, turning his head to look at her. She was getting used to him not shying from her touch. A little too comfortable with it as well.

His eyes focused on hers and she felt anxious looking into them so she dropped her hand into her lap and looked at his shirt instead. It was his melting rubix cube shirt. She liked it.

She asked again, "What did you work on today?"

He cleared his throat and said, "I was studying a few older works from professionals that worked with a few of Maslow's theories. Nothing really exciting."

"See," she said poking him in the chest. "Was that so hard?"

"No, but can we please get on with our evening?" He didn't wait for a response, just opened the car door and got out.

Penny wasn't completely satisfied with the answer, but she'd let it slide for now.

They made their way inside, Penny trying to fill the silence. "So I got halfway through the season yesterday and you were right David Tennant is perfect as the Doctor."

"Of course he is, I am never wrong," he said at which Penny rolled her eyes.

"Well, you may not have been wrong about this, but you have to be wrong sometimes. You're just really bad at admitting defeat."

"I suppose that's true. Let me amend my previous statement; 'I never admit defeat.'"

That statement sent a great deal of thoughts through Penny's mind first of which was the way his lips felt against hers. "Me either, honey," she said aloud.

He turned his head slightly as they reached the landing, then looked away quickly focusing on the lock. Penny thought she saw a hint of understanding there, but Sheldon wasn't the type to get innuendo.

Once inside, Sheldon deposited his keys in the bowl and took off his windbreaker. Penny once again found herself admiring the contrast of a black shirt against his fair skin. Maybe it was just the dry spell talking again, but she was noticing all the little things about him that she had ignored before. For one, his height. Tall enough that she could wear heels and not feel like a she-hulk. Two he was lean and if the other day was enough to prove it, he wasn't as scrawny as he first appeared.

Trying to get comfortable she sat on the middle cushion of the couch. Pulling out her phone to keep her hands busy she tried to think of some kind of small talk, but couldn't come up with anything. He loathed small talk. Penny criticized herself, of course she had nothing interesting to say to her genius neighbor, which was just one more thing to add to the list of "reasons why you can't jump Dr. Spock's bones."

"What episode did you leave off on?" Sheldon's voice broke through her melancholy thoughts.

"Oh, 'the Satan Pit'," Penny answered excitedly. This was one thing they had in common, she was slowly starting to love Doctor Who.

"Oh good, the season only gets better from there. You still have so much to get caught up on before the new season starts in August." His excitement was tangible. "I'll order the pizza online then we'll get started."

"Awesome, get whatever you like I trust your pizza judgment."

"As you should, I have the art of pizza ordering down to an art," he affirmed opening the online menu.

Penny suppressed a laugh as she looked down at her phone. Wanting something to do she opened up her browser. Almost subconsciously she opened Google. She often did this around the boys when she wanted to at least vaguely understand what they were all saying. She thought back to what Sheldon had mentioned in the care. Typing in 'Maslow's theory' yielded some scholarly journals at the top. Knowing she'd never understand those she quickly selected the Wikipedia link she found.

It seemed to be about psychology not physics, but she read it anyway finding a picture of what looked like a food pyramid. Two words caught her eye: sexual intimacy. Thinking back to the last couple of days and Sheldon's reaction in the car she knew she had found why he was so bothered by her questions. Intrigued, she read more.

_Physiological needs are the physical requirements for human survival. If these requirements are not met, the human body cannot function properly and will ultimately fail. Physiological needs are thought to be the most important; they should be met first._

_Air, water, and food are metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans. Clothing and shelter provide necessary protection from the elements. While maintaining an adequate birth rate shapes the intensity of the human sexual instinct, sexual competition may also shape said instinct._

Penny's mind was reeling as she thought about what that meant. Her beautiful mind genius neighbor had a deal and he was trying to rationalize it using science.

"All done," Sheldon said drawing her attention. She watched as Sheldon clicked a few times then came to sit down. He took his usual spot and his proximity made her nervous. He brought up Doctor Who and the distraction was welcome, but her mind wandered.

Obviously, Penny wasn't the only one being affected by their lapse in boundaries the last week. From what she could tell he was trying to attribute it to basic needs. She could definitely preach to that. Her own libido was driving her nuts, especially now that she knew she wasn't alone.

* * *

It had been a long time since Doctor Who had been this exciting. Sheldon had seen these episodes plenty of times as reruns, but Penny's emotional reactions made it feel new for him. She was properly engrossed when the characters were endangered, laughed at the subtle jokes and made inferences. When the pizza came they paused only long enough to pay, then Sheldon served them as she frantically hit play again.

Then at the pivotal moment when Rose is trapped in the other dimension where the Doctor couldn't follow she grew quiet. He turned to gage her reaction and was startled to find her perched at the edge of the couch silent tears streaming down her face. She turned to face him and he was completely caught off guard.

"He saves her right?" She demanded.

Sheldon shook his head.

"Why not?!"

"Watch. He explains it."

"I love you," Rose Tyler said onscreen.

The Doctor starts "Rose Tyler –"but never finishes." It cuts away to David Tennant tears matching Penny's and then Donna Noble appearing in the Tardis. At this point Penny grabbed the controller and furiously hit pause.

"What the hell was that?! Why couldn't he save her?! He didn't even tell her he loved her!" Penny was on her knees facing him gesturing at the paused screen. Her eyes were wild and red rimmed. Sheldon was at a loss.

"He couldn't there was no way the TARDIS could have made it. He managed to say goodbye!" Sheldon tried to argue.

Penny leaned forward placing her hands on his knees and moving closer.

"It's not enough! All the other stupid things that were possible, but he couldn't say three stupid words! He loved her! It was obvious. Tell me they find a way!"

He was terrified and confused at how a fictional television show could have such an insane reaction. He put his hands on her shoulders, sitting up as he pushed her back onto her knees. She calmed a little, but he held her there just in case.

"Penny, you are clearly projecting your emotions onto fictional characters in a television show. It is probably best if we stop watching."

"No, its fine, I'm sorry," Penny wiped her eyes quickly getting off her knees and sitting properly. "I just got wrapped up in the show, its okay."

"Are you sure?" He search her green eyes for a hint of more tears. "Do I need to prepare a hot beverage?"

As he kept his gaze on her searching for proof of more insanity her look shifted. It was a look that was becoming more familiar.

"Sheldon, why are you being so nice to me?"

The question was ungrounded and perplexed him. He had merely provided dinner and then put on TV. After her reaction to the last episode, he hardly expected her to be a pleased with their current situation.

"I'm unsure what you mean. I merely provided basic nourishment and offered a beverage when the show upset you."

"Sheldon… You're holding me."

Sheldon found that he had shifted one arm around Penny's shoulders. He removed said idle arm apologizing and standing up. Once again he had somehow given in to subconscious urges as though it were becoming routine. He moved into the kitchen and pulled out the kettle, filling it with water.

"I'm not upset, Sheldon." He heard Penny say and noted she had followed him. "I was just noticing that you've been really different lately."

"Yes, well my entire existence is being turned upside down as I've told my mother, Koothrappali and as you well know. Changes in REM cycle, behavior and schedule are only half of my struggle. I'm also behind at work."

Sheldon set the kettle on the stove and turned back wishing he hadn't said any of these things. After Penny's outburst he knew she was just as affected as he was.

"Sweetie, I think you need a break, why don't you come sit on the couch for a second, I think I know how to help." He watched as she took a quick second to wash her hands at the sink.

"This isn't going to be more hippy dippy voodoo is it, because I've had quite enough," Sheldon said, but obeyed sitting at his spot once again.

* * *

"No," she laughed softly and just stared at him for a second. "Now, this is going to be way, way, _way_ out of your comfort zone, but it just might fix you. Now close your eyes."

Penny wasn't sure how to approach this, but she knew he'd enjoy it if he just gave in.

Sheldon raised a brow at her request, "Why?"

"Because I'm trying to help. Now, close your damn eyes."

Sheldon made an impatient sigh, then miraculously obeyed. She stood in front of him, stretching her hands and neck then putting her hands on his shoulders, finding the tension she knew would be there.

"A massage is not going to alleviate the amount of –"

"Shhhhhhh-ut up." She said popping the p at the end. She continued working her fingertips against the muscle moving lower, but she was at an odd angle. Making a rash decision, she straddled him placing her knees on either side of his.

Expectedly, his eyes shot open and his hands flew to her hips. "Penny?!"

"Eyes closed, this is just a part of the experiment. Hush."

He looked ready to protest, but at that moment she found the knot she had been looking for. Using slight pressure she coaxed a moan out of his throat.

"See, not so bad, right?"

"That is incredible," he responded and it caused a slight reaction in her. She felt completely in control.

Penny continued using her fingertips and palms to relax him moving her hands over the ridges of his shoulder. She then turned her attention to his neck using her nails gently. She told herself that this was all a simple gesture, but she felt herself getting aroused. She moved her hands into his hair and put pressure on his temples with her thumbs. He made another sound of pleasure and it was then she realized his hands rested on her hips.

"Where did you learn to do this?" Sheldon murmured drawing her attention.

"I briefly considered becoming a misuse instead of a waitress and took a couple of massage therapy classes."

"What happened?"

"I saw the licensing fees and didn't finish. Besides, I'd much rather deal with customers who have their clothes on. Not everyone in California is easy on the eyes."

"Makes sense I suppose, but your skill is undoubtable."

Her hands returned to his shoulders her thumbs on his collar working softly, her hand making contact with flesh underneath the shirt. She adjusted her weight off the part of her legs that was beginning to fall asleep. Just a few more minutes, then she'd be done. She miscalculated and her knee slipped in between the cushion making the way she straddled Sheldon much more intimate.

Sheldon's eyes drifted open once again and she felt more than saw his reaction. Penny felt her own eyes widen as the nature of their current position shifted from slightly sensual to downright erotic. She saw Sheldon's adam's apple bob and every inch of her heated up slightly.

"That… wasn't supposed to happen," Penny said slowly.

"I deduced as much."

Penny knew she should get up. If she continued on the path she was on there was no going back. Another second passed as she hesitated, the voice of reason in her head slowly sounding further and further away. She closed her eyes feeling her heart begin to quicken. A realization began creeping in to replace logic. She wanted this.

Oh god, how she wanted it.

"It's considered an accident if I say 'opps', right?" Penny asked.

"Social convention suggests so, yes," Sheldon replied. His drawl was back. It sounded marvelous.

"Well then," she met his gaze deliberately. "Opps."

* * *

Penny slowly brushed her lips against Sheldon's causing the ache that had begun in his gut to tighten. He tried his best to refrain, to be logical, but his thoughts were slipping away. He responded to her kiss slowly at first, but when his palms brushed against the exposed softness of Penny's skin in her very short shorts all efforts went out the window. The kiss deepened and she made a sound that he knew meant she'd given up resisting as well.

He had never been in this position and never expected to be, though he remembered first meeting Penny and admiring the aesthetics of her body. Touching those appealing parts, however, was entirely different. His hands wandered underneath her thighs pulling her tighter against him. The heat radiating from her core rubbed against his member and he felt himself slip further away.

Penny had both hands on his shoulders her nails digging in ever so slightly. Her tongue darted against his lower lip and he bucked against her. A gasp escaped her and she moved her hips to match the movement, breaking the kiss. His gaze focused on a patch of skin peeking out beneath her dark colored t shirt. He moved his mouth there to feel just how soft it was. Another gasp, followed with his name on her lips it sounded exquisite. It then turned from pleasure to panic.

"Sheldon! The water's boiling!" Penny said catching his attention. He reluctantly turned to see that the kettle was definitely boiling and was starting to simmer over.

Penny was already removing herself from him and he made his way across the room to turn off the burner. The hiss stopped as it began to cool, his own elevated state following accordingly, but he was definitely not satisfied. Quite the opposite.

If Penny continued on this way he was not going to be able to resist his urges very much longer. He was definitely not an expert, but instinct would fill in the blanks.

**Is it hot in here? I'm working on the next chapter. I'll post it ASAP.**


End file.
